Recklessly Bound

Chapter Twenty Three

One second, I open my mouth to respond smartly and the next I am looking at him with mouth wide open. What just happened? For a second, I consider this a bluff but the second he makes eye contact with me, I dismiss the thought. The way his eyes are fixed on me is as if he's daring me to defy him.

"I'm sorry." That's all I can find to say. I can see how waiting for a year can be agonizing.

There was a time when I would have been exceedingly happy to hear this. Hell, I would have wished it would have happened every single day. But something changed. And I haven't really noticed it. Although I have been taunting him relentlessly about how he prefers her over me, I finally saw what true love is. Maybe I still envy their relationship. The fact that they were willing to get back together even after a year, but now that I know that happily ever after doesn't exist, even for them, I am saddened. As if all this charade of emotions come to a stop only to the realization that I have to ignore the truth before me.

Jealousy has gotten the best of me. I want him to be happy. I want them both to be happy. Just because I can't have what I want doesn't mean stealing others' happiness is the right thing. It makes me feel sick. Like a homewrecker.

"I'm really sorry. I never..." I want to continue but find nothing. What can I say? That finally my nagging and taunting got the result I hoped and now you are unhappy.

Wow, Evelyn, way to be the woman in his life that wished to be noticed.

"It's not your fault. We... well, I came to the realization that we couldn't go further. I noticed how things weren't the same."

"Is it because she went out with—"

"No," he abruptly replies, "I realized that with things that happened. Between her and I. Between you and me. Things weren't the same after."

"Oh, so it was partially on me."

"No, no, damn it. I'm trying to tell you that what happened was bound to happen. She was tired of waiting around. She got needy. Always asking for something that she couldn't have and I just didn't feel that connection. Now I wonder if there was a connection, to begin with."

I want to consult him, to sympathize him but I don't know how. I don't know how I can sympathize when merely days ago I wanted this to happen.

"When did... uh, this happened?" I ask cautiously.

"Before we came to this vacation."

I can see how spending too much time with me has taken him away from her and how she must have gotten frustrated. I feel bad for not only what happened between them, but also the fact that my schemes have a part in it. Despite what he wants to believe. If it wasn't for me messing up with his head and demanding, maybe at least one of us could have gotten their happy ending after this.

"There is also something else." He announces. I lift my head and look at him. "I um, I have started feeling differently. I... huh, how do I say this?" he scratches his left eyebrow. "Let's just say my attention is on someone else."

"Oh," I sound surprised. So, he has a new lover. "Do I know her?"

"Yeah." He nods his head.

Ok, that won't be great. "Well, good for you," I force a smile while trying to pretend that the fact he just replaced the woman he said he truly loves with a new lover doesn't make him an asshole.

I start smelling something. That's when I remember the skillet I put in the oven earlier to be roasted.

"Oh, sh*t," I mutter as I grab a nearby handle and open the oven. Smoke comes out in a rush and the smell of burned beef fills the room. I grab the handle of the skillet and drag it out. But the handle is so hot that the cloth in my hand gets hot as well.