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I woke up in the motel bed and momentarily forgot where I was. After a brief moment of panic, I remembered the day before: the train ride and jumping off and the pool hustling. I needed clean clothes and a blade.

I didn't want to shop, though, I wanted to get to the Grand Canyon. I never had an interest in it before, but now, it consumed my thoughts. So, I left my room and found a bus station that would take me there. 

When I finally got there, the view was breathtaking. How was something this beautiful even existing? I stood and admired it for over an hour, just taking it all in and refusing to think about the situation I'd gotten myself into.

After awhile, I walked around, just basking in the beauty of nature. Before I knew it, the sun was setting. I went back to the where the bus would pick me up, the last bus running at 9. Hopefully I hadn't missed it.

Luckily when I got there, there were a few other people waiting as well. One of them said it was 8:45, so I took the fifteen minutes to go into a gift shop and buy a Grand Canyon t-shirt, a pair of Grand Canyon shorts, and a candy bar.

The clothes were for tourists, but I needed something clean to sleep in tonight. And something to eat, hence the candy bar. That put me back $15, leaving me with $79.

On my way out, I saw a rack of pocket knives, Grand Canyon engraved, of course. But it was sharp, and it would do. I used Two-Bit's tricks and pocketed one, leaving the store unnoticed.

After a long and somewhat disgusting bus ride, I got back to the motel. I paid for another night before going to my room and locking the door.

Then I took my new blade and did some work on my arm. When I decided I'd had enough, I got in the shower and let the blood and dirt run off of me and down the drain.

When I was done, I put on the new Grand Canyon clothes, washed my old clothes in the bathtub, hung them on the shower curtain rod to dry, then laid in bed and ate my candy bar.

While I did this, I thought. I saw the Grand Canyon, I'd done everything I could do here, maybe I should go to a new place. Never stay still or someone would find me. But shouldn't I want to be found? Forcing myself to not think about the gang helped when I was outside hiking all day, but now that I was alone in the room? They were all I could think about!

I missed Darry's parenting us and making sure we were all safe. I missed Soda's smile and his laugh, the way he always made us laugh. I missed Pony talking to me about school and track and about maybe wanting to be an author. I missed Two-Bit's jokes, Dally's cigarettes and the trouble he'd get us in, Steve's crooked smile as he ate all of our chocolate cake, and Johnny just being with us.

What do I do? Should I go back? I can't do this, can I? Can I really keep running away from my problems?

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