how to become a wildfire

heartbreak

heart·​break | \ ˈhärt-ˌbrāk
noun
: crushing grief, anguish, or distress

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ii
august
six years ago

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"You guys are disgusting."

Erza tosses a wadded-up piece of paper at Gray's head and he ducks, making a face at her when she misses. He's sitting in Natsu's lap, which is probably not helping Natsu focus on the math homework he has to do for summer school.

"You and Jellal aren't any better," Gray insists. Natsu hums in agreement, kissing Gray's shoulder. Gray's wearing a tank top today, and Natsu's been taking advantage of Gray's bare skin all morning. Gray really, really doesn't mind.

Gray sighs, leaning back into Natsu and reaching for his coffee. Natsu nips at Gray's earlobe and Erza groans, squeezing her eyes shut and standing up.

"Get outta here," she says fondly, gesturing to the front door. "If you're going to make out, I don't wanna watch."

Natsu laughs, nudging Gray off his lap and pushing himself to his feet. Gray studies his face for a moment before letting Natsu help him to his feet. Natsu's smiling, but something in his eyes isn't quite right. It hasn't been for a while now, but Natsu won't talk about it.

"Wanna go for a drive?" Natsu asks, slipping his fingers between Gray's.

"Yes, go, get it out of your system and be back in time for movie night," Erza says. As they make their way out the door and into the dry summer heat, she shouts, "don't forget to pick up the popcorn!"

Gray turns and waves to her as they hop into Natsu's car, immediately cranking down the windows. Natsu flips on the tape player and starts humming along to the Pink Floyd song that plays.

"What's up with you?" Gray asks as Natsu backs out of Erza's driveway, then turns down the street that will take them to the highway.

Natsu shrugs, reaching over and squeezing Gray's thigh. Gray's wearing a skirt today because his dad was home when he left, and he's still Ellie except in his head. He still hasn't even told Erza and Natsu about his name – he's too scared to say it out loud. Natsu calls Gray his boyfriend in private, but to everyone else, Gray's still a girl.

Natsu is uncharacteristically silent for most of the drive. The fields stretch out on either side of them, bright yellow with canola, and a few white wisps of cloud scud across the sky, occasionally casting shadows into the car.

Gray kicks his feet up onto the dashboard, reaching over and running his fingers through Natsu's hair. Natsu leans into the touch, slipping his hand up Gray's thigh until his fingers are brushing the edge of Gray's skirt.

A thrill runs through Gray, settling right in the pit of his stomach and radiating out until his entire body feels hot. His fingers tighten in Natsu's hair and Natsu laughs, sliding his fingers up to the edge of Gray's underwear.

"You'd better focus on the road," Gray says, breath hitching as Natsu's fingers brush against him.

"Mm," is all Natsu says in response, and Gray can feel want and tension radiating from him – the pent-up energy of spending the last week apart. Between Gray's dad's rules and Natsu's summer school, they haven't had much time together lately, and it's driving Gray crazy. Fantasizing about Natsu with his hand between his legs isn't quite as good as the real thing.

As soon as they pull into the abandoned lot off the highway, Natsu throws the car in park and then turns to Gray, pulling him into a kiss. Gray opens up to him immediately, pulling on Natsu's hair and moaning against his lips.