how to become a wildfire

compassion

TW for discussion of abuse/child abuse

I know it's frustrating to watch Gray go back and forth on how he feels, but leaving an abusive relationship isn't a linear path. Abusers isolate their victims, and while Gray does have support now, he's been on his own with Joel for the past five years. I stayed in my relationship with my ex for three years and tried to leave twice before finally succeeding, so it's an unfortunate reality that most victims of domestic violence do go back to their partners, even when they know the relationship is toxic.

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com· pas· sion | \ kəm-ˈpa-shən
noun
: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress, together with a desire to alleviate it

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xv
october
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Gray doesn't leave the hospital until almost two in the morning.

When Doris finally leads Gray back out to the front of the emergency room, Sting is still there, but he's dressed in jeans and a hoodie instead of his uniform. When he sees Gray, he stands up and approaches them cautiously.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" he asks, glancing down at Gray's bandaged hand. He looks like he wants to reach out to Gray, but he doesn't.

Gray's so tired that all he can do is shrug. Doris says something to Sting but Gray's not listening – his mind is too busy. The panic and terror from earlier are dulled by the drugs, but he still can't stop thinking.

Joel protected me. Joel hurt me. I should tell them. I have to stay. He can get better. He's never going to change. He'll hurt Bella. Sting can help me. I don't have anything. I can start over. I can ask for help. I'm fine.

"Gray? You with me?" Gray blinks, looking up at Sting's concerned face. "I tried to get your wallet, but they won't let me take personal effects out of lockup," Sting says gently. "Do you have your keys?" Gray shakes his head, staring at the floor. "Do you have somebody you can stay with? The nurse said you shouldn't be alone after a concussion."

A part of Gray's mind thinks, I could call Natsu, but the rest of him shuts that down immediately. He shakes his head again.

"Would you feel okay staying with me overnight?" Sting asks. "As a friend," he adds quickly, "not as a cop. I'm off duty now, and I've got a guest bedroom. Rogue is asleep, but he won't mind."

Gray looks down at the floor again. He doesn't want to make Joel angry, but he's so fucking tired and has nowhere else to go, so he nods.

"Okay," Sting says, and Gray can hear the relief in his voice as he gestures toward the parking lot. "C'mon, you need to get some sleep."

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The first part of the drive back to Sting's place is quiet – the only sound is the barely-audible radio and the squeak of the windshield wipers. Gray leans his head against the window and watches the raindrops fall in the intermittent light of the streetlamps.

He's so, so tired.

"You hungry?" Sting asks after a while. Gray shakes his head – he is, but he doesn't want to owe Sting anything else. "You mind if I stop for something? I haven't eaten since I started work."

When Sting sets the fries he gets in the console between them, Gray sees through the ruse. He doesn't fall for it.

"I've only been a cop for a few years," Sting says after a while. Gray glances over at him, but Sting keeps his eyes on the road. "My dad was one, and I always wanted to be just like him."