BATTLE SCARS (I) ↳ Tony Stark's daughter

Chapter 64

Lately time seemed irrelevant, what did it matter what time or day of the week it was, all the time in the world couldn't fix my mistakes. It had been a week or so since coming back from Hydra, and preparations for Jax's funeral we already starting to happen. Since being released from the med bay I hadn't left my room, or even gotten out of bed. Multiple times one of team members would come by and knock on my bedroom door, trying to get me to come downstairs or at least shower.

"Look kid she doesn't want to see anyone right now" A voice says not far away from the outside of my door

Within a minute the door opens, revealing Peter standing there and Clint jogging up behind him.

" I tried to stop him" Clint says shrugging, then turns around and leaves.

" What the heck Rebel?" Peter says annoyed.

" What do you want Parker?" I say, rolling over in bed to face him.

" You've been ignoring my calls and texts for days, I thought something happened" He replies exasperatedly.

" Well I'm fine Peter...as you can clearly see" I snap back, rolling back over to face the wall.

" Rebel, I know your really not okay" Peter says in a low soft voice.

" Yea well would you be?" I sass back at him.

" Look I know it's hard and I'm really sorry about what happened to Jax, god I feel like it's partial my fault to" Peter says

" Your fault? God I wish it was your fault! Anyone's fault but my own, so I could actually do something about it." I yell, now sitting up in bed.

Peter stands there taken aback at my sudden outburst.

" I'm sorry, I'm glad it's not your fault, it's just it would be easier to blame someone else then sit here and blame myself." I say in a calmer voice.

" No I understand that, I mean I've felt like that plenty of times in my life but Rebel you didn't mean to it was an accident" he answers, walking over and sitting on the side of my bed

" Accident or not he's still dead and nothing can change that." I moan, flopping back onto my bed.

" You can't be so hard in yourself, because if Jax were here he'd know you'd never mean to hurt him" Peter says

"But what if he didn't ?" I ask as my eyes teared up and voice lowers to almost a whisper.

Without saying anything Peter pulls me into a hug "He did, I promise you, he really did" he whispers.

( Three days later)

It was the morning of Jax's funeral, a day I thought I'd never have to worry about.

Surprisingly I get up earlier then usual, at first it felt like any other day; grey, with the constant reminder of what my life was like now but as soon as I check my phone for the date my heart and stomach sink, the first notification on my screen was a reminder I had set for Jax's funeral. A few tears manger to slip my eyes while I sit on the edge of my bed looking down at my screen.

" Tony sent me up to make sure you were awake" Steve says walking into my room and coming to a stop when he notices I'm already awake.

" Everything okay Rebel?" He asks

" Yea it's just I forgot that today was..was, his..today was..." I start, but am unable to finish because I'm chocking up.

" I know, get ready and come down stairs to eat, today is gonna be a long day you're going to need all the energy you can get." Steve says solemnly before turning around and shutting the door.

I get out of bed and walk over to my closet to pick out my outfit, the only dress I own was the one I'd got from Tony for my birthday party but that was very appropriate for today. Knowing damn well that I'd be criticized for it, I choose a pair of black jeans and a black dress shirt. After changing I brush my hair and teeth and go downstairs. When I get down stairs everyone is already there, talking amongst themselves. I try to make a little noise as I strategically move around the kitchen to get some breakfast.

" Oh good your up!" I hear Tony say behind me.

Great, here we go.

I turn to look at him, he's wearing a suit and tie, looking not much different then what he looks like for most press conferences. I give him a small smile and sit at the counter with my granola bar. As I eat my breakfast I float in and out of listening to others conversations, most are about average things, no one daring to bring up anything about today or its past events.

" Happy is outside waiting in the car, grab your stuff and let's go." Tony announces, and with that said everyone grabs their things and heads outside.

When we arrive at the Church I expected more people to have come. I see Jax's foster parents and little brother in the back, I see Peter, Luna, and Dylan not far from them. I wonder how Luna and Dylan even heard about the funeral and how they got here, I assumed that was Tony's doings but nevertheless I was grateful.
We take our seats close to the front, Clint, Steve, Thor and Tony head to the back of the Church. I check the time and realize it's about to begin. Soon the soft music plays and Tony, Clint, Thor, Steve, And Jax's foster dad carry up Jax's casket. Instantly quiet sobs break the silence, Pepper squeezes my hand which almost made me lose it myself, but I pull it together and decided to breakdown behind closed doors later. Multiple people go up and share their favorite memories about Jax thru out the service, when a free spot was open I took my chance and stood up. Walking up to the mic made it feel like time slowed down.

" Hi, I'm Rebel...I'm...well I was Jax's best friend. One of my favorite memories I had with Jax was...was... was the first time I ever brought him home" The crowd laughs a little, probably assuming we dated at one time."No, I mean not like as a boyfriend or anything, just as.... Jax. It was crazy because I had just found out of Tony not that long ago and I was sure Jax wouldn't be happy about it, but he was, he was so happy for me." My eyes start to tear up and I'm forced to pause and inhale before continuing. " So I invited him over thinking Tony wouldn't care right? Well he did, he apparently cared a lot. In fact I barely knew this guy and he starting parenting me with days" I say, laughing to myself a bit. " Jax was so intimidated by Tony I'm looking back it was kinda funny, I had never seen Jax act so proper toward someone in my whole life. After that night I was sure I wasn't gonna get to see Jax much anymore but in the end Tony I think secretly had a soft spot for Jax, I mean come one who didn't, but yea that just made me really happy. I wish Jax were here right now so I could be telling this to him instead of all you but I'm trying to believe he's still here listening." I step away from the mic and walk back down to my seat. I finally let out my breath when I'm comfortably in my seat and I get smiles and nods of approval for my speech by the team sitting around me.