If Not For You(Sequel to IML)

{27} - All At Once

Bethany couldn't breathe. Every part of her was screaming in pain. There was blood everywhere. She didn't know what was happening. Sebastian was talking to her, but she couldn't understand anything he said. She was focused on the blood all over her shaking hands and her legs and the bed. Sebastian was pulling on his pants as fast he could. He hauled the first shirt he found over his head and grabbed his phone off the nightstand before coming and picking Bethany up. He was moving faster than he ever had in his life. Lucky for them no one was using the elevator at three am.
"Baby." She mumbled. She moved her gaze from her hands to his face. "Baby." She mumbled again. She was on the verge of tears.
"It's gonna be okay. I promise." The elevator seemed to move slower than normal. Bethany was struggling to breathe. "Hey, hey." Sebastian said softly, "look at me." She couldn't take her eyes off her hands. "Bumblebee, I need you to look at me." He said as the elevator doors opened. He didn't know how he was staying so calm. Bethany began to sob.
"Baby." She said again. Barely understandable through the sobbing. "Baby!" She held her hands up and Sebastian took a shaky breath in.
"I know. I know. Please, breathe." He managed to get her in the car and got in himself. He definitely went over the speed limit. He didn't care. It didn't matter. Bethany was barely keeping herself from passing out. There was blood. So much blood. She was mumbling incoherently and she didn't even really know what was going on anymore.

———

At the hospital Sebastian ran in with her in his arms. No sooner had he stepped through the doors than Bethany went limp in his arms.
"I need help please!" The reality finally seemed to sink in. He was barely staying calm anymore. A nurse came running. She had Sebastian lay Bethany on a gurney. Another nurse came running and they took Bethany. Sebastian watched as they took her down the hall and through a set of double doors. His heart was pounding. He didn't know what to do. He fisted his hair and tried to breathe. A third nurse was sent to see to Sebastian. She asked him questions. He answered, voice shaking and cracking. When she'd asked all the questions she told him someone would find him when they knew more. He was left in the waiting room. He was the only person there. He was blinking back tears and trying to breathe. Neither were working. He dropped into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He kept his head down and folded his hands, eyes still closed. When he opened his eyes the first thing he was blood. His hands, his shirt. The handprint on his right arm. Red. The sight made his stomach twist. Not because it was blood, but because of what it meant.

———

Time moved slowly. The only noise in the waiting room was the tv and Sebastian's pounding heart. He didn't know what time it was or how long he'd been sitting there.
"Bethany Harris?" A woman in blue scrubs said from beside the desk. Sebastian's head shot up. When he saw the doctor he stood up and walked over to her.
"Are you here for Bethany Harris?" Sebastian nodded. Though he couldn't see it his hair was standing on end, sticky with blood.
"I'm her boyfriend."
"Miss Harris was hemorrhaging, but we've managed to slow the bleeding. She's going to be fine," Sebastian breathed for what felt like the first time in hours, "but I'm afraid she had a miscarriage." All at once his world shattered. "We've got her settled in a room if you'd like to see her." He nodded again. She led him down the hall. He couldn't have found his way back to the waiting if he wanted. Not that he would have wanted to.
Bethany was awake, sitting in a bed with her eyes downcast. They'd tried to wash the blood off her hands, but hadn't tried very hard and dressed her in a hospital gown. She looked up when he walked into the room. She was crying. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her. She clutched his shirt in both hands and sobbed into his chest. He held her tightly and rested his head against hers. Sebastian blinked back tears of his own and rubbed her back.

———

Bethany eventually cried herself to sleep and Sebastian stepped out into the hall. He fell against the wall and then slid down until he was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up. He pressed a hand over his mouth and allowed himself to cry. When the tears stopped he sniffed and wiped his face off. Then did the only rational thing. He called his mom.
"Sebastian?" She answered, voice groggy from sleep. "Is everything alright? What's going on? It's the middle of the night." Just hearing her voice sent him spiraling again. He sobbed and held the phone tighter. "Oh my god. Sebastian?! What's wrong?"
"Bethany had a miscarriage." He finally managed to get out. Stephanie gasped.
"Oh. Oh, honey." A nurse walked by and gave Sebastian a sympathetic look. Sebastian pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. Neither he nor his mom said a word. What was there to say? Nothing could undo this.
"Do you want me to come to the hospital?" Stephanie asked after several minutes of silence. Sebastian debated, but eventually decided that Bethany didn't need the added stress of another person, especially she didn't know very well.
"No. I mean, I do. But I don't think that's what Bethany needs right now." He swallowed hard. "I-" his voice cracked and couldn't bring himself to keep going.
"When you get back home and you both feel up to it, I'll come over, alright?"
"Yeah." Sebastian whispered. "Sorry I woke you."
"You never have to be sorry for waking me. No matter the reason. You're my baby and just because you're grown up and out in the world doesn't mean you're alone. I'm still your mama and I'm always here."
"I know."
"I love you." Sebastian tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "Go be with Benny, honey. She needs you right now." Sebastian still couldn't bring himself to talk, because he knew he'd end up crying. "I'll call you in the morning, okay?"
"Ok." Sebastian rasped. Stephanie stayed on the line for another minute before telling him she loved him again and hanging up. Sebastian dropped his phone his lap and put his hands together over his mouth. He refused to let himself cry again. He needed to pull himself together. For Bethany. So he did. He stood and went back in the room. Bethany was still asleep. Sebastian carefully sat down beside her on the bed and pulled her against him. Eventually he fell into a restless, dreamless sleep.