The Midnight Moon

Chapter XXVII

“I am so tired!” Anya exclaimed.

“You just came home. Be grateful.”  Nani scolded Anya.

“I am so grateful I am tired!”  Nani hit her on her shoulder. “Ouch!”

“Enter the house and then rant. Give me your bag.”

“It’s OK.” Anya closed the door behind her before dragging herself to the sofa. She intentionally fell on the sofa, right on Dia's lap. “I am so tired. I hate travelling.”

“You want some tea?” Dia whispered.

“No. I am fine. How are you? How was your day?”

“Hm.”

“Anya go and change. We both are hungry.” Nani said from the kitchen.

“OK.”

Before Anya could move Dia quickly said, ”Do you have a laptop?”

Anya looked at her. “Yes.”

“Can I use it?” She whispered slowly.

“Sure. I will get it for you.”

Anya quickly sat up straight. Opening her bag she pulled out her laptop.  She logged in and then handed it to Dia. “Wifi is no? Yes, it is. I will go and change before I get scolded again.” Anya stood up and started walking towards her room. But before her room, came the kitchen. Anya was curious about her dinner so she entered the kitchen instead. “What did you cook?” Nani raised her hand high before hitting Anya on her back. “Go and get fresh first.”

“Nani! I really got hurt!”

“I will hit again. Go and change.”

“Mummy.” She cried while walking to her bedroom. “It is really hurting.” She whispered to herself. “Ah.” She kept whining the whole time. After ten minutes she opened the door slowly. First, she peeked in the kitchen. Her grandmother was talking to someone on the phone. She slowly came out of the room but quickly went to the living room. She sat on the sofa crossing her arms. Her long face said she was angry But no one was there to notice it. It took Anya a few seconds to get bored with that. She looked to her right and then to her left. Her eyes fell on the laptop that was resting on Dia's lap. She leaned forward. “College pictures?” Dia nodded her head. “You look so young. Your hair! Where did you get these pictures from?” Dia first pointed at the pen drive that was attached to the laptop and then softly said “Bag.”

“That’s wow. Introduce me to your friends.”

Dia looked at her. “You want to know?”

“Yes! Isn’t this your friend. Her name starts with P, right?”

“Priya. You remember her?”

“Yes. Who is she?”

“Nisha.”

“Tell everyone’s name.”

“Nisha, Ankesh, Meera.”

“Ok. Next picture.”

“Teacher.”

“You were a teacher’s favourite?”

“Yes.”

Anya wrinkled her nose. “Ew.” She thought. “Who is she? She is so beautiful.”

“A senior.”

“She is beautiful. Next picture.” Dia smiled in her mind. Anya's excitement lifted her mood. “Who is this person?”

“Friend. Vishal.”

“Ah! I knew a Vishal, too. He was a headache.”

Dia pointed at the picture. “Same.”

“Fault in the name, maybe. Next. Hey, I know her. She is from my school. I don’t remember her name. You remember?” Dia shook her head. “Ok. Next!” Dia’s facial express softened and she thought she would smile. “Oye!” Anya exclaimed suddenly. “That’s Kabir! Oh, yeah he was from your college. You didn’t tell me you knew him.” Dia shook her head instantly. “It's just a picture of everyone who worked for this event.”

“OK. He looks so funny!” Anya laughed. “He used to look like a monkey.” While Anya was laughing Dia stressed on her brain to find out some memory about Kabir. She kept thinking for many hours but nothing in her mind reminded her of Kabir. He never existed for her before. She felt a little guilty about it but by the time sun rose the next morning she had forgotten about him. It was a Saturday and Anya did not have to go to work. But they all woke up early in the morning as Anya wanted Dia to meet Samar. Dia did not want to leave the house, but Anya forced her and she could not successfully protest. Anya had not mentioned her plan earlier. Even Anya didn’t know they would be doing that. Around four in the morning, Anya woke up due to a dream. She could not sleep after that. She tried to distract herself and started thinking about other things. One thought led to another and before she knew she was thinking about Dia and Then about Samar. Soon Anya made her mind. She messaged Samar asking if he was available. Though it was five thirty on the clock and darkness in the sky, she received a reply from Samar in less than five minutes. Time was decided and before Dia woke up her day was planned. She woke up around six and they had to leave before seven. Between her refusal to go and Anya’s hurry to leave time went by very fast.  Before Dia could understand or do anything she was sitting in front of Samar, lost and still sleepy.

“How are you, Dia?”

Dia rubbed her right eye. “Good.”

“That’s nice. It’s too early, Right?” Dia looked at him before nodding her head. “Anya doesn’t think any other time is better than the early morning.” Dia shook her head and he did the same. “So what do you want to talk about today?” Dia lowered her head. She was not prepared for it. All she wanted to do was sleep just a little more. “I got to know that you saw your husband. How was that?” Everything around Dia was calm and still, but inside her was chaos. Her heart was beating fast and her breaths were getting short. It was quiet outside but inside there was an orchestra playing.

“What did you feel? Regret? Fear? Guilt?” Dia looked up. Samar shook his head. “So, guilt is out. Regret or fear?” Dia kept looking at him without a reply. He smiled to make her feel better but that did not work. Dia murmured something but Samar could not hear a word. “Volume just a little high.” She looked down and closed her eyes. Samar shook his head and thought of changing the question. “Why did you?” Dia said.

“Feel free. You know I will never judge.”

Dia nodded her head. “Why did you think I will feel guilty?” She whispered. It took Samar a moment to understand the complete sentence.

“I just said a few words. It didn’t have a meaning. People often just say words without thinking or meaning. So, don’t stress over what others say. They don’t even know why they said it. And it was definitely not meant to hurt.” Dia looked up. A new way of thinking was introduced to her. She understood what he meant but soon lost him. But she did realise a new thing. And that was, at times people say things they don’t mean, so one must not overthink and make it difficult for themselves or for others. “We talked about birds last time. How about we talk about nature again?” Dia softly shook her head. He smiled at her and then his eyes fell on Anya who was sitting outside. She had a phone in her hand and was scrolling through her index finger. She smiled at some post. “She can smile at a post but not when she sees me. Great.” He thought but that thought didn’t stop him from smiling. He looked at Dia feeling more energetic.  “What you say here will not be heard by anyone. What you share will always be a secret. Take it from me, it’s better to let you're feeling out. Or you will just waste your time.” Dia looked at him with confusion in her eyes. Samar noticed her expression after a few seconds. He smiled. “I am listening.” Dia kept looking at him. Samar thought he had done the job and she would open up soon. But instead of that happening her eyes suddenly started to tear up. “Hey.” He leaned forward. “It’s ok Dia. Everything is fine.”

“It’s not.” She whispered while crying.

“Did I say something to trigger?” She shook her head. “Then?”

“I feel.” She starts crying again.

“You can cry first.” Dia cried for the next five minutes while Samar sat there quietly. Anya guessed something was happening so she asked Samar when he looked at her. He shook his head and using his hand he told her to stay outside for a while. He then took a water bottle and extended it towards Dia “Drink some water.”

She took the water and drank it. They were quiet for some time before Dia said, “I feel like a burden.”

“Why?”

“What why!? Look at yourself.” Samar was taken aback. “Look at the Time. Di and you had to wake up so early for me. She is up since 4 in the morning.  She is doing so much.”
“You are never a burden for a person who is helping you. No one helps a person who they think of as a burden without any hidden benefit. Anya, you will agree, has no other motive than to help you. She is here so early in the morning because she wants you to feel better. Because she wants you to have a good life. Not because she thinks of you as a burden.” Dia looked down. “Don’t cry because of that reason Dia. That is no reason to cry. If anything Anya being here early in the morning should tell you how lucky and blessed you are. The girl who can never sacrifice her sleep is up since four in the morning without complaining. How lucky you are Dia. I wish I was that lucky.” Dia wiped her tears. Each and every word she heard was calming her slowly. “Don’t think of yourself as a burden but as a lucky girl who survived.”

Dia looked up. “I want to believe you.”

“Then believe me.” Dia shook her head. “Why?”

She shook her head again. “Things can change in future.”

“Future is in your hand Dia. Remember, the past is in your mind, the present is in your eyes and the future is in your hand. What you do today will determine what others do tomorrow. So don’t push Anya to such an extent that she starts to get annoyed and eventually starts thinking of you as a burden. BUT.” He was louder than he intended to. It made Dia look up again. “You know Anya. She will not give up on you easily. And I know you, not so well, but I do and I am sure you will not push her to that extent. I have faith in you.” Dia bit her lower lips for keeping herself from crying. “Everything will be fine Dia. Trust me.” She shook her head as tears started flowing. “You know what Anya wants from you? She wants you to take care of yourself. She does not want anything for herself. Just your happiness. So, if you want to do anything for her. Take care of yourself. That’s all she wants.”

“I want to go home.”

“You can leave. We can meet some other day. Should I call Anya in?” She shook her head. Samar froze for a moment. “OK.”

She looked up and tears started following again. “I mean my home. My house.”

Samar resisted the urge to widen his eyes. “To your husband?”

“No!”

“Thank you.” He whispered. “You mean your parent's house?”

She shook her head. “When I was a kid. I want to go back to that house.”

“You can always go back to that house, Dia.”

“No, I can’t!”

“Yes, you can.”

“That’s nonsense.”

“That house and people might not be the same, but that house and people in your head are the same. You can always visit a place or a person through your mind. The place where it is still alive.”Dia looked away to show that she disagreed. “Why don’t you go and meet your parents?”

“No! They will send me back to him.”

“Maybe they won’t.”

“They will.”

“Things have changed since last time, Dia. They have lost you once and this time they will not take a chance.”

“No.”

“OK. I understand.”

“Nothing can be the same again. I will never have peace again.”

“Nothing will be the same again Dia. That’s a good thing. It will be better.”

“It’s not a fairy tale.”

“it’s.” Before Samar could start the sentence Anya entered the room abruptly. “Nani is not feeling well. We must go home!” They didn’t waste a second and quickly left. Samar's receptionist was there by then so he left with them. He drove as fast as he could. And though it was not very safe none of them cared about it. In about twenty minutes they reached their building. Anya and Dia were the first ones to run. Samar followed them shortly. It took them a while to open the door as Anya, due to stress, could not find her keys.

“Nani!” Anya exclaimed when she saw her grandmother lying on the sofa. “What happened?”

“Don’t yell,” Nani said before she sat up straight on the sofa.

“Let's go to the doctor,” Samar said instantly.

“I am fine. It’s just that my BP shoot up. I told her it is fine.”

“We should go to the doctor,” Anya said.

“I am fine. I rested for a while and I feel a lot better.”

“No, we are going,” Anya announced.

“Anya, I am fine. Look I am talking.” Anya shook her head and was about to say something when Nani said. “I am not getting another heart attack. I have already got two. So, I will know when I get another one.” She smiled when her eyes fell at Samar. Samar smiled back at her.  “No, Nani!” Anya exclaimed. “Let’s go.”

“Anya,” Samar said. “When she is saying she is fine then believe her.”

“But what if she is not!”

“She is. Look she is talking and smiling.”

“She looks sick.”

“Because she is.”

Dia who was standing quietly till now quickly hugged Nani and started crying hysterically. “Dia,” Nani said affectionately. “I am fine.”

“Promise?” Dia asked.

“Yes.”

“Don’t fall sick ever again.”

“Aw,” Nani said before hugging her back. “Don’t cry.” Anya frowned and looked at Samar.  “She is fine. They both are” Samar whispered.

“I am more scared now.”

“You get scared of everything.”

“Don’t talk like your brother.”

“Then don’t act like Anya.” That made Anya angry so she turned around and went out of the house. He let out a deep breath. Then he checked whether or not Nani was fine. Once he was convinced he went out to look for Anya. She was standing in the corridor. “She is fine, Anya.”

“But will it harm to go to a doctor?”

“She wants to stay at home and rest so let her do that. I will stay here and if she does not feel better in the next ten minutes then we will go.” Anya turned her face. She had nothing to protest, but she was not convinced either. “She is fine.”

“Stop saying that.”

“OK. But change your mood. Your face will make her sicker.”

She looked at him. “Let’s go to the doctor, please. There is a doctor next to our building. It will take just five minutes.”

Samar could not say no to her. He knew she was terrified, she said please to him. All he wanted to do was make her feel better. “Fine. Let’s go.”

“Go and convince Nani then.”
“Why should I do that?”

“She will not get convinced by me. Please.”

He sighed. “Things you make me do.”

“Why do you do then?” Samar looked in her eyes. “Sorry. Go and talk to her.”

“Start thinking about why I do things for you, Anya. We are not getting any younger.”

Anya frowned. “Huh?”

He sighed again. “Good luck Samar. May God bless you,” He said before he went inside the house again. Anya frowned deeper before saying, “Huh?”