It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 12

This chapter is so far the one I'm most proud of if I say so myself ☺️ Let me know what you think!

Kevin's P.O.V.
Danielle and I decided to stay the night at my parents place so I can help Nick move back in tomorrow. They explained me his troubles and I'm more then willing to help him move back in.

Joe and Nick their apartments aren't that close and I'd rather have him near due to his Diabetes. We'd usually have to make it a day trip to visit him. Luckily Joe lives near him, so it made it all a little bit easier to accept. Especially because he lives alone.

I know I should trust him. He's twenty years old and capable enough of looking after himself. But what if it is too late? And what if he can't reach the phone? He could be in so much pain and in no way able to reach us. That has been my biggest fear ever since he got diagnosed. Of him in pain and alone.

Joe has still got enough stuff at home to move back in. Sure he'll have to get some stuff from his place, but nothing Joe and Nick can't get together during the week.

Joe had asked me if I could test Nick in the middle of the night so he could reload himself and pick it up from there tomorrow.

So that's where I am. It's about 3 in the morning and here I am in Nick's room. He is sleeping peacefully, not knowing I'm here to test him. I had turned on the lights to not make any mistakes. I'm tired, but I have to do this focused and correctly if I want to help Nick.

I get his kit ready to test and do the testing. After an eternity, the meter beeps and I look to see if Nick had registered the noise in his sleep. He did and slightly turned himself over.

I gasp loudly when I see the reading. He's really high. I don't know why I'm so surprised to see this high reading. There are multiple empty water bottles around his bed and even in his bed.

I gently wake Nick. "Nicky, wake up for me please." He slightly opens his eyes. He's probably not feeling very well. "What is it?" He asks tiredly. "You should go look for Ketones, buddy. You're really high. Like 410 high."

I help him up and into the bathroom. He walks out a bit later. "I'm clean for a change." I nod in response.

"Took an insulin shot?" He nods in response. "Alright, go back to bed. I'll check again in a few minutes." Nick nods and goes back to sleep. I wait the time out before I test. It's getting better. I decide to wait twenty more minutes before testing again. I want to make sure he's alright before I go off to bed.

The next morning breakfast had been served. Mom, dad and Frankie went to see Pippa. Dani offered to go grocery shopping. Joe went out to catch up with some friends real quick before Nick, Joe and I would head out, each in our own car to go to Nick's place to get the move in action.

I was cleaning the dishes from breakfast when suddenly I heard this tune. It sounds way too familiar and I know for a fact it isn't on the radio. The radio isn't even turned on.

Walking into the hallway, the sound gets louder. I walk over to the living room where we have the piano. I see Nick sitting there.

"When I thought it'd all been done.
When I thought it'd all been said."

He sings very passionately. I know for a fact he just started singing.

I lean against the doorpost and continue to watch him.

"But you don't know what you got till it's gone.
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low."

He extends the low, almost screaming it out. I can feel the pain and hurt in his voice.

The piano is played beautifully. Everything he puts into it right now, it's correct. It's everything he needs it to be.

His lyrics grab my attention when he changes the lyrics in the middle of the song.

"No one even knows, no, no. I don't even care." I watch him intently as he continues the song but takes a break from the singing.

His fingers press the piano keys roughly as he puts his heart into it. He's not even looking what he's playing. His head is hanging back and I can imagine him having his eyes closed to focus on the music.

I hate to watch him this amount of pain. It brings tears to my eyes.

I feel arms wrap around my waist and I almost jump out of fright, but I keep myself quiet. To not scare Nick.

I look to see Dani already watching Nick. I wrap my arms around her shoulders as we both listen to Nick's song.

"And you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
Don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah!"

In this moment it feels like he extended the song to 5 minutes. He might as well have, I don't even know how long Dani and I have been listening to him play. His play turns almost quiet and very intimate.

"So I'll wait 'til kingdom come.
All the highs and lows are gone.
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
I'll be...fine."

He finally finishes the song. He is now full sobbing with his arms on the keys, his head on his arms and his face hidden away in his arms. I have never in my entire life seen him so vulnerable for so long.

He's been like this for days. It's nothing like Nick to be like this.

I give Dani an apologetic smile, but she seemed to get it before I even gave her the smile.

She nods, knowing what I have to do.

I walk over to Nick and sit down on the armrest on the couch. I wait for his cries to die down a bit before I speak.

"That was beautiful." I startled him. He flicks his head around to see me where I am.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes. "What for? I just told you that was beautiful." I laugh at him through my tears.

"For always making you worried and upset about me." He responds.

"That's your job, Nicky." I laugh quietly. He keeps quiet.

"Is it really that bad or are you low?" I ask him. I can see the anger form in his eyes, but he keeps it to himself. He shrugs, not knowing a better response in the moment.

"Go test. Clean yourself up a bit as well. We'll leave for your place as soon as Joe is back." I gently tell him.

He stands up. So do I. He walks over to me and I wonder what he wants. He lifts his arms as if to ask for a hug. So unlike Nick. But who is Nick these days?

I hug him like he asked for before he changes his mind. The last time he hugged me like this was at the hospital. And before that, I guess when he got his diagnoses at thirteen.

I rub his back as he hides his face in my chest. "I love you." He whispers. "I love you too Nick. I love you too."

He gets out of the hug to do what I told him to do. Test and clean up.

When he is upstairs, Joe walks into the room. "Danielle said you two were having a moment. I figured I'd keep her company in the kitchen. Explained to me how you found him play A Little Bit Longer."

"Yeah, he was. I'm worried about him. Like really worried. He just asked for a hug and when he was playing, he changed the lyrics." I explained to Joe.

"What? What did he change them too?" Joe asks me.

"No one even knows, no, no. I don't even care." I recall the lyrics.

"It's like he's giving up or has already given up." Joe analyses what I just told him. I nod. "I know. That's why I'm really worried. And I know for a fact that Pippa's situation isn't making things easier on him." Joe shakes his head, knowing I'm right.

If only we are capable enough to help our little sister.