Far From Perfect

Chapter 28

Today's the day I stop running.

I want to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep, but I can't do that. Not anymore. I have to take on my responsibilities and continue my life as if nothing happened. It sucks to have to pretend when I feel like I lost a big piece of myself when I lost Nate, but it's either that or sulking in the thoughts of what could have been and I don't have time for that. Life goes on and it's time I start making an effort to move on.

"Morning! How are you feeling today?" Mia asks groggily as she walks into my room and lays down next to me on my bed.

"Like I want to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep," I say honestly.

"Let's call out sick and sleep in all day," Mia suggests and as much as I love her idea, I know full well I can't run away forever. I have bills to pay and a life to live.

"As amazing as that sounds, I don't think that's a good idea. I have to go back to work," I tell her with a sigh.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

I shake my head. "No, but I can't run away forever. I need to resume my life and go back to the way things used to be before Nate walked into my life with his stupidly gorgeous face."

"If you need another day, I'm sure Betty will give it to you. You never miss work and you have a lot of vacation and sick days anyway, so it's not like you're asking for days off that you haven't already earned."

"I know but Betty has already been kind enough to give me a few days off. I don't want her to feel like I'm taking advantage of her."

"She would never think that, but I get why you feel that way. Just remember I'll be there with you. If you feel like you need a breather just come get me. I'll cover for you while you take a break and get it together."

"You're the best."

"I know," she responds with a smile and a laugh.

"I take it back. You don't need to hear that. Your ego is big enough for the both of us already."

"Too bad! There are no take-backs," she tells me, sticking out her tongue at me and jumps up from the bed. "Now get up and take a shower. Work is calling us."

"That it is," I respond with a sigh and sluggishly climb out of bed. "Go get ready. I'll be done in a bit."

"Sounds good." Mia leaves me alone but instead of picking out my clothes I just sit on my bed in silence trying to think of what I'm going to tell Betty. I know she would never judge me, but I still feel bad for taking days off for personal reasons.

"I knew this would happen," I hear Mia say and look up to find her leaning against my doorframe with her arms crossed. "Don't overthink this. Betty's not upset, I promise."

"I know," I say with a sigh. "She's too nice to get mad at me, but I honestly deserve her wrath."

"No, you don't. Now stop saying that," she tells me before joining me on my bed again. "I get that you feel guilty because you missed work, but people miss work all the time for no good reason. You have not missed work once since you started working at the bridal store, so you have nothing to feel bad about. You needed those days and I know Betty would gladly give you a few more if you needed it."

"I'm done sitting around moping. I need to move on and forget about Nate."

"You don't mean that," she says, and I feel a sob claw it's way up my throat.

"I don't have a choice," I whisper on the brink of tears. "Nate will never take me back. Not after what I did," I say, feeling the weight of what Johnny and I did, sitting heavily on my shoulders.