Far From Perfect

Chapter 35

Morning rolls around and Nate never shows. I wish I could say I'm surprised but I'm not. Deep down, I knew he wouldn't feel the same come morning. It's for the best though. Had I stayed with him the night, he would have kicked me out of his bed, and I don't know if my heart could have resisted that.

I stare at the wallpaper covered wall of my hotel room when I should be getting ready for brunch, but I can't be bothered. I'm in no mood to get all dolled up. Not after everything that happened with Nate last night. A part of me wants to see him again because no matter what has happened between us, I still love him, but the other part of me is afraid. What if he doesn't even want to look at me when we meet up with the rest of the bridal party? Not only will it make things awkward and unnecessarily tense, but it will also be hard to stomach. The last thing I want is for Nate to hate me but I know it's a very real possibility at this point and it's one I'm not ready for.

Nate was drunk when we talked last night. There's a chance everything he said to me before I left went out the window as soon as he fell asleep. I want to believe that's not the case, but the fact that it's almost noon and he still hasn't shown up at my door gives me my answer. An answer I don't want to accept. Not yet.

I want to give Nate one last chance.

I hear my phone vibrate from the nightstand and raise the volume of the show that's playing in the background, hoping it will drown out the sound of my phone, but it just goes off again.

"What now?" I mutter aloud and get up off the couch and cross the room to grab my phone. I see that I have two new text messages and bite my lip nervously.

I let myself fall back on the bed and feel my bathrobe open a bit, and panic when I remember I'm not wearing anything underneath. I try to cover up but then it hits me, I'm here by myself and there's nothing wrong with wearing just a bathrobe in the privacy of my own room. Hell, if I wanted to walk around naked, I could, but just wearing a bathrobe alone is a huge step for me. I never would have been comfortable doing this before but today I simply embrace it and relish the new comfort I've found in my own skin.

I take my sweet time getting to my text messages and when I'm finally inside the app and see who they are from, I sigh. This can't be good.

I open Gracie's texts, knowing I don't have any other choice and dread what's to come but I know I can't ignore her forever, so I read what she has to say to me.

Gracie: Alexa!

Gracie: Have you heard from Nate?

Me: No.

Gracie: He's not responding.

She texts back instantly.

Gracie: Can you check on him?

Gracie: Jared and I aren't at the hotel right now and I'm worried about him.

Me: No.

Gracie: Alexa, please!

Gracie: I'm begging you.

Me: No.

Gracie: Pretty please with a cherry on top!

Me: No, means no.

Gracie: Fine. If anything bad happens to him, it'll be on your conscience.

I sigh out loud and don't reply anything back and throw my phone on the floor, feeling a new sense of hate towards the damn thing. It's doing me more bad than good. All it does is cause me problems I don't need.