So, we all have pets? Let's say we do. And all our pets have problems. THEY AIN'T GOT NOTHIN ON CRAZY!!!
Crazy is one of our cats..... and she lives up to her name. She's got feline AIDS.... or something else. And she has bad teeth. REALLY bad teeth. Like, soft and squishy teeth. Teeth that cause her drool to be thick as tooth paste and occasionally bloody.
It would be fine if she never drooled. But she drools ALL THE TIME. She's a fucking fountain!!! The Fountian of Drool!
And she sleeps EVERYWHERE. Which means that your possessions are at continuous risk to be "Crazified" and stink like....... I don't know what, for weeks.
My English folder? Drool. My brand new backpack?!?!?! DROOL!!!
CAT!!!!
Go. Drool. On. Marge's. Bed.
JUST GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE THE SWEETEST CAT ON EARTH! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME. GO AWAY.
She doesn't even look cute! She's the color of barf and is this scrawny, toed cat that loves to spend nights on your NEW JEANS!!!
She sounds like a dying animal and meows continuously. SHE HAS A BEARD OF DROOL IN THE MORNING!!!
Her longest thread of drool? 7 inches. From mouth to paws.
ANYONE WANT A BROKEN CAT?
YOU ARE READING
Out of La-La Land
RandomKeeping this up as a sort of cringe letter from baby me to current me. Wouldn't recommend reading it unless you already have and want to relive this, and in that case go for it you wild child.
