Perspective

Chapter Twenty Nine.

"Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?"

***

I am a possum.

Well at least that's how I felt, the entire time I was on Harrys motorbike clung to his back for dear life.

There were times I thought it was intentional, when he would suddenly speed up or go around a corner especially hard and my arms would tighten around him and I'd bury my helmet clad head against his back like the terrified marsupial I felt like.

I can't say that I felt unsafe, some moronic part of me trusted that he was in full control of what he was doing but I'm just usually not one to do this sort of thing.

I'm not exactly a thrill seeker.

My life has been enough of a rollercoaster without me purposely going out of my way to have my anxiety shot through the roof.

I'd never admit it, but just before we stopped; I did find myself actually enjoying it... a bit. How free it felt. Almost as if you were flying along the ground and nothing could touch you.

Things went quiet again temporarily and all I could focus on was the warmth from Harrys back radiating against my chest; how soft his tummy felt, even though you could feel his muscles that would contract if I squeezed my arms tighter every so often.

It felt nice. It was fun.

But I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

Everything about Harry has been chaotic since I met him, absolutely unpredictable and infuriating. For whatever the reason though, one I can't explain is...

He was the kind of chaos that calmed me.

And I don't know why, it makes zero sense to me. I don't like things that don't make sense.

I was also confused, when we finally came to a stop maybe 20 minutes after we left; and Harry had pulled up at a childrens playground.

I asked him why we were here in the middle of the night, while he sat both of our helmets on the bike and his response was

"It's peaceful here at night, it's quiet. And there's no people around, thought you might like it"

I pointed out that we were adults and not children when he grasped my hand and urged me to start walking down the hill with him to the play equipment, to which he said

"We're all just kids in big bodies, c'mon - live a little"

I think I've lived too much for one person Harry that's the problem.

Either way, that's how we ended up sat on swings next to each other at the moment, like a pair of teenagers in some dumb romance movie.

The park is only lit up by a couple of light posts at the very far corners of the playground; and there's lights along the creek few feet down from us.

The water separates the children's playground from a big sports oval and field on the other side, where there's also a bunch of wooden gazebos and outdoor barabeques. There's a small old wooden bridge that connects both sides, and I find myself wondering why I never bothered to come here before.

I havent been to this park, but I haven't really left the house much since I moved here a few years ago, unless it was to go to work or see Bryce.

Probably a dumb idea to move here to be closer to him, but I didnt know that at the time.