*CONTAINS MATURE AND EXPLICIT CONTENT*
Have you ever met someone that made falling feel like flying?
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Preview:
"Do you think, if you jumped from this roof - it'd feel like falling or flying?" I ask, keeping up with our theme of a...
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I'm currently trying to dance away my problems.
Yesterday left me feeling like my world was falling apart for several reasons.
Everything that happened with Bryce, and feeling all of those old emotions again have weighed me down like bricks attached to shackles on my ankles and wrists.
Not to mention the fall out from my mental snap, or seeing Harry beat the ever loving crap out of him.
Those feelings linger.
They camp inside you like an unwelcome intruder in your home, that refuses to leave.
People always talk about panic attacks or triggers in the immediate tense, how they affect you then and there but not many mention the fall out from it afterwards.
How it can incapacitate you for days or weeks. The way it can spiral you into months of trying to struggle your way back to a base line of stability.
Mental illness is constantly walking a tightrope, sometimes you only wobble, other times you slip and fall but manage to catch the rope; dangling there holding on for dear life and other times...
You fall to rock bottom. And it takes everything you have to find your way back onto that rope.
Today I'm trying not to fall and crash into the ground.
Harry noticed the difference in me, even though I tried to mask it and play it off that I wasn't feeling as bad as I truly was.
He did as he promised the day before, laying in bed with me and Gizmo. He's done everything he can to be as attentive as possible, unfortunately I'm in no state to offer him solutions for how to cope with me.
I was barely useful at work yesterday. Everything felt heavy.
Bryce better hope he stays out of this part of town, because when I told Sam about him turning up at my house, Sam said if he laid eyes on Bryce he was going to use his head like it was batting practice with his baseball bat.
He also said to tell Harry that he has a week of free meals on the house for breaking Bryce's nose.
It still feels unnatural, seeing people so protective over me.
Not to mention Harry and I haven't said a word about the bomb he dropped on me yesterday, those words he said before he walked out of the room and never elaborated on.
I'm easy to love?
I'm too chicken shit to mention it and Harry hasn't tried to explain it further.
