Chapter Sixty Six.

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"Do you feel free? Right here with me?"

Song: Do you feel free - Leo and The Foghorns.

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A/N: Ohai, I come wearing the cone of shame but with a super long update. I've missed you terribly.

 I've missed you terribly

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(Quick refresh from the last update: They're dating officially. Harry gave her back the pig finally and she kept it. )

The mind is an obscure thing

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The mind is an obscure thing.

I don't whether to be fascinated or terrified by how powerful it is and the things it's capable of.

It controls everything.

It's your human experience, and it's the filter of all of your perceptions.

The way your own mind can hurt you is something I've always struggled to comprehend.

Imagine if your hands suddenly decided to punch you or break your own fingers one by one, as amusing as the mental image is, honestly imagine it. If physical parts of your body took it upon themselves to physically harm you - would that not be distressing?

Now imagine the stress of not even knowing why it's happening or how to stop it, and even worse... thinking you deserve it, even though it's beyond your control.

Yet somehow you still figure out a way to blame yourself.

I struggle a lot with the notion of loving myself or my mind... because how can I love something that hurts me so much? That is so cruel to me?

I always hear that advice 'be a friend to yourself'... well, alright but what do I do about the fact that the person inflicting pain on me - is me? A friend wouldn't treat me the way I treat myself. I would not want to be in that person's company.

I don't know how to be friends with myself.

If anything I feel like I need to be protected from myself. My own mind.

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