Land of Confusion: based on the song/music video by Disturb

Disire's diary

Some days I wonder why I did this to my father but I always come to the same conclusion, rage, anger and sorrow. The lie that my father was hiding from me till then was too unbearable for me to cope with at that moment. In an instant I gave up on him and immediately started denying the truth. And started to cover it up. But I could never outrun it, I knew that back then but I couldn't trust him either I wonder if he did this to my mom to this day and I know I will never get my answer as long as I live. Just think, my life is filled with questions; why did I do this, do that? Well especially now after at least oh, I want to say a couple of years, I don't know exactly. But who does? It was a time that lies were meant to protect and found later to be false. All I know is when I am gone some great historian (hopefully someone hired by the newest president) will look at my work and learn what the heck happens when you leave something out that works but who knows they might learn what not to do. And that will be fine by me. So now suffering was on my plate and lots of it at this time but now as I look back, I was just a child lost with everyone else. And now all I had to really worry about is my friends. I was not ready to reveal the secrete my father passed to me which I still did not accept and parts of it still to this day.