Every Breath You Take

Chapter 36

(will be triggering if you're sensitive about eating disorders)

01/31/85

"Hey lover boy" Dustin said when Lucas arrived at school.
"Shut up" Lucas said.
The other boys, or the girl, hadn't gotten there yet.
"Really though, I'm sorry for yesterday" Dustin said. "It was really shitty of me to say all that"
"I'm sorry too" Lucas said back. "I didn't mean to snap like that".
"Friends?" Dustin said and put out his hand.
"Of course" Lucas said and shook it.
"So did you find her?" Dustin asked.
"Yup, and I got her right back" Lucas said and smiled.
"Good job dude" Dustin said.
"Are you guys friends now?" they both heard Max say.
Lucas turned around to find Max right behind him with her skateboard on her arm. He hugged her and she hugged her back in the lame way she always hugged after something bad had happened.
"Are you okay?" He asked her quietly.
"Yeah" she answered.
"Max, are you wearing the same thing as yesterday?" Dustin asked. "Did you sleep at Lucas' house or something?"
"Why do you care?" she asked back.
"Oh my god, you totally did" Dustin said.
"Is that even allowed?" Will said from his bike as he arrived.
"Is what allowed?" Mike asked, jumping off his bike behind Will.
"Max slept at Lucas' house" Dustin said.
"What?" Will asked while having a huge smile on his face.
"How are your parents okay with that? Hopper freaks out whenever I'm alone with El" Mike said.
Max rolled her eyes and walked away from them and Lucas quickly joined behind her. The guys all looked at each other shocked before following the couple inside.

Since it was monday Lucas' got to lunch a couple of minutes later than the rest of the party.
He wasn't surprised that everyone was there but Max. But he'd made it his own mission to help her. To take care of her. Therefore he turned in the doorway, to the boys' confusion, and headed right towards the ladies restroom.
The walk wasn't long and neither was his hesitation to go in. But as he opened the door a girl passed him in the corridor and looked at him in a way that he thought was judging, like if he just broke the law.
He just smiled at her, in the best way he could considering the smile she'd given him, and persuaded to go inside.
It seemed empty when he got inside but all the stalls were closed so he thought he could give it a try. He was confused but not surprised to why the women's toilet always smelled better than those he used to enter.
"Max?" he asked cautiously.
It took awhile until the girl answered.
"Go away" she said with the attitude only Mad Max used.
"You need to eat" Lucas said, ignoring what his girlfriend just said.
"You're not allowed in here so get out" Max said.
"No" Lucas said.
"Why are you hear anyways?" Max asked.
Lucas walked back and forth between the stalls trying to listen which stall Max was in.
"Cause you're here" he answered when he finally found the right stall.
"So? What if i'm just on the toilet?" Max asked.
"You are on the toilet" Lucas said back.
"What if i'm using the toilet?" Max corrected herself.
"You're not" Lucas said back.
A slight sound of someone standing up came from inside the stall just before the door unlocked and the redhead walked out.
She gave him a stare which he ignored.
"You need to eat Max" Lucas said.
"I have eaten" Max said, annoyed, staring at herself in the mirror over the sink.
"What have you eaten?" Lucas asked. He definitely didn't believe her. He knew what was going on with her. It wasn't something that happened to a lot of people but weirdly enough he knew two girls at the school who had it. They both looked like sticks and Max wasn't a long way from them.
"Dinner-" Max stared but she couldn't lie to him, "two days ago".
"That's not healthy Max" Lucas said.
"Don't you think i know that?" Max asked and turned away from the mirror to look at him. She had tears in her eyes. "Don't you think i know that I'm dying? That i'm killing myself? Lucas I don't want to be like this. Helpless. Weak. I don't want you to have to take care of me. But I can't, I just can't." Max said. Her hands had gone up and done the entire time she was talking.
"I haven't been able to sleep since I came back from California, and before that I couldn't sleep for months" she said.
"I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this Max, I really am" Lucas said, feeling guilty about forcing her into his own world of chaos.
"It's not about that. It's not about the demodogs or the shadow monster or the upside down" Max said. "God, I don't even care about that anymore. I can't sleep because...cause-" Max started but couldn't complete her sentence.
"It's okay, you can tell me" Lucas said and touched her on the shoulder. He could feel the bones through her shirt.
"I don't feel safe. I never feel safe. I haven't for the last year" Max said.
"If it's Billy I swear I'll kill him for you" Lucas said. He tried to lighten her up by slightly smiling but she didn't respond in the way he wanted her to.
"It's not about Billy either. I mean, he shouts at me and he hits me sometimes, but never too hard and I shout back." Max said.
"Max-" Lucas said.
"I know it's not right, but it's better than how his dad is towards him" Max said. "Towards all of us".
"All of you?" Lucas asked and crossed his arms. Max turned back to the mirror.
"Billy, mom...and me" Max said. "Ever since we-" Max stopped herself.
"Since what?" Lucas asked.
"Never mind that. It's not important" Max said.
"No, tell me" Lucas said back.
"No!" Max shouted back. "I'm sorry" she said when she realized how intense she had screamed.
"What does he do to you?" Lucas asked, ignoring the moments before.
"He screams at me, calls me worthless, punches me" Max said.
Lucas' breath got heavy.
"But it's really nothing against what he does to my mom or Billy" Max said. "I don't have anything to complain about."
"Yes Max" Lucas said. "Yes you do. Do you see our dad hitting us? Do you see us coming to school with bruises?".
"No but it's really fine" Max said.
"No, he's hurting you" Lucas said.
"The bruises go away after a couple of days" Max replied.
"I wasn't talking about that" Lucas said. "He's clearly hurting you mentally".
"I don't know-" Max started.
"Max!" Lucas got irritated at her. "You don't sleep. Max you don't eat for god's sake. You need to eat."
"Lucas stop" Max said and sat down on the floor.
"No Max, I won't stop" Lucas said.
"Why are you really here?" Max asked.
"I've already told you, because you're here" Lucas said and sat down beside her. They both wrested their backs towards the wall.
"Yeah but why?" Max asked.
"Because I care about you?" Lucas said more as a question than a statement. "I want to take care of you. I want you to take care of you"
"Why do you even care so much?" Max asked.
"Why do you ask stuff as if you don't know the answer? You know I care about you. You know you're one of the most important things in the world to me" Lucas said.
Max wrinkled her eyebrows.
"How?" she asked after awhile.
"What do you mean 'how'?" Lucas asked her.
"How am i so important to you? I'm clearly 'worthless'" Max said, copying what her stepdad had shouted at her a couple of nights ago.
"What? No, you're not! Why would you even say that?" Lucas asked.
"Cause it's true" Max said. She didn't seem sad when she said all those stuff, she just said it like it was nothing. But Lucas knew that it was only a shell that he was determined to dig through.
"Max, your stepdad is a prick. He doesn't know what you are. He doesn't know you. You're the most amazing girl I've ever met. Even better than like...Demi Moore" Lucas said.
"You haven't met Demi Moore" Max said while smiling because of what Lucas said.
"You know what I mean. If I where to picture the most amazing girl in the world, she wouldn't even come close to you" Lucas said.
Max smiled at him. And although she definitely didn't believe him she still leaned in to give him a kiss. It lasted longer than their kisses usually did but Lucas didn't complain.
"You so took that from a movie" Max said, smiling, when she pulled back.
"But it worked" Lucas said and smiled back at her.
"Sure Don Juan" Max answered.
"Come on, let's go to the cafeteria" Lucas said and stood up. He held out his hand to help Max up.
"I think I'm just gonna go home" Max said and took his hand.
"Max" Lucas begged.
"It's fine Lucas. I'm alright. I just need to wrest a little. I'll be back for chemistry" Max said and walked out of the bathroom.
Lucas knew it wasn't right. She wasn't healthy. And it killed him that he didn't know how to help her.

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Oof you know it gets real when you have to change "may be" to "will".
And yes, I did use "Don Juan" but it's too cute not to.