Summer In Your Eyes: Seasons Series 1 (Lifeguard!Steve x Bucky Barnes Summer AU)

Fifty-Eight

Trying not to seem so alone, Bucky turned on the TV. It didn't even take a minute before Bucky realized that it was a mistake. Hercules was playing, and Bucky's chest clenched. Quickly, Bucky flipped to a random channel, hoping that he'd have better luck with that. And he did have luck with that. But Bucky wondered if he'd be avoiding things that reminded him of Steve, for the rest of his life.

Bucky really hoped not.

Of course, if Bucky was really hoping for things, he'd hope that Steve would be with him, so he wouldn't have to avoid things. Bucky didn't want to go through life avoiding movies and books and food simply because they reminded him of Steve. Bucky didn't want to know what he was missing.

Didn't want to think about how Steve was the one who got away.

Sure, the serial killer documentary was a distraction, but not a good enough distraction. As Bucky's stomach rumbled, he decided to get up and scrounge around for some food. Hoping that making something to eat would distract him a little bit more. All he had to do was stay as far away from the marshmallow fluff and peanut butter as possible, though.

Deciding to stay away from sandwiches all together, Bucky started making some pasta. Knowing that he'd have to keep his focus on his task at hand, helped. At least he wasn't trying to remember the way Steve's lips felt against his.

Okay, at least he wasn't trying to remember it much.

Waiting for the water to boil, there was a knock at the door. With furrowed brows, Bucky looked in the direction of the door. At first, Bucky shrugged it off. Not concerned at all, and figuring that whoever it was would open the door or go away.

When another knock came, however...

Bucky sighed and headed through the mudroom and the dining room on his way to the front door. Figuring that it was Sam forgetting something, Bucky opened the door and said, "You know you can just enter the house, right? You don't have to --"

Cutting himself off and being taken aback because it wasn't Sam, Bucky blinked a few times. Wondering if he was, in fact, staring at Steve on his doorstep. Not the typically upbeat and nonchalantly happy Steve. No, not on the doorstep today. The Steve that stood before him was obviously in distress.

Stepping past Bucky into the lake house, Steve aggressively tugged at his own messy blond locks, clearly agitated. Taking in a deep breath to steady himself, Bucky closed the front door and turned to look at Steve. Allowing his eyes to roam over Steve's appearance as he did so, Bucky took note of Steve's wrinkled tee and the dark circles under his somber, red-rimmed blue eyes.

Noting that it took everything in himself, to not close the distance between them and comfort Steve the way that every cell in his body was urging him to do. Instead, choosing to question, "Why aren't you at work?"

"Why haven't you answered any of my texts?" Steve accused, a pained expression on his face as he studied Bucky.

Briefly, Bucky clenched his jaw and crossed his arms along his chest as he answered, "You know why."

Steve scrubbed his hand over his face and countered, "Because of Sharon? So, now we can't even be friends? Just like that?"

Taking in a shaky breath, Bucky clenched his teeth even more. There was no way that he could speak right now without dissolving into a puddle of tears and heartache.

"After everything we've been through?" Steve continued. Taking a harsh breath through his teeth, Bucky closed his eyes, so he wouldn't be able to see just how broken Steve was. Considering how it sounded, Bucky knew that it would be too much for him to actually see.

What really broke Bucky's heart the most though, was when Steve's voice cracked as he said, "I just got you back."

Grinding his teeth together in hopes of keeping the tears in, Bucky warned Steve, "I'm not doing this."

"I just --" Steve started, but interrupted himself to ask, "Do you hear that?"

Bucky opened his eyes then. Noting Steve's bit-swollen lip and the tear streaks on his flushed face. Then, eyes going wide as he remembered the boiling water. Stepping around Steve, and making sure to leave as much space between them as possible on his way to the kitchen.

"Shit," Bucky muttered when he spotted the water bubbling over the pot and dripping from the stove.

"Towels still in the upstairs closet?" Steve asked from behind Bucky.

Crossing the kitchen, Bucky scoffed, "Where else would they be?"

"Just asking," Steve replied, turning to head up to the second story of the house while Bucky went to move the pot.

Making sure that he didn't step on the excess of boiling water on the floor, Bucky turned the burner that he had been using completely off, and moved it over to another one. Above, he could hear Steve's fast steps as he made his way back towards him.

Trying not to make eye contact with Steve, Bucky kept his gaze on the water on the floor as Steve handed him some towels. Both silently mopping up the mess while purposely choosing not to look at each other. Occasionally, their hands would accidentally bump one another's and Bucky couldn't help but jerk away from Steve every time that it happened.

Not that Bucky didn't want to touch Steve. The exact opposite, actually. Bucky wanted nothing more than to be as close to Steve as possible. Wanted nothing more than to map out the strong, earned muscles beneath his hand. Wanted nothing more than to skim his fingertips along the smooth surface of Steve's skin. Wanted nothing more than to feel the weight of Steve's head on his chest, and to tangle their limbs together. But Bucky knew that to keep his heart protected from breaking any further, he had to refrain.