The Nice And Accurate Stories Of The Ineffable Husbands: Good Omens

Tyrant Snake King

The cascade of holy water falled over Crowley, but the water didn't burn, it was cold in fact. The shock of this was enough to stop Crowley from crying his best friend's death, sadness turned into rage. Crowley was after revenge now, and all his anger turned into power, fire broke out in Hell, Hastur and Belcebbub were unaware Crowley was still alive, while Gabriel who saw everything, ran away, back to Heaven, where he could be safe, for now. When the rest of demons reacted, it was too late, Crowley was already gone.
And suddenly everything was black.

A gap in time, something Crowley couldn't explain, but he had jumped through time, he was in a future, a different place, his clothes had changed, his car had changed, it now was a motorbike, but despite everything being different, he still knew Aziraphale was dead, that hadn't changed.
Crowley felt something over his head, a crown. He took it off to look at it, snake shaped, black, he didn't know what was it doing there, but perhaps he should keep it on until he figured it all out.
He took a hand to his pocket and pulled out a feather, white, burned on the sides, Aziraphale's, he could tell, but he didn't remember picking it up.
"Hello king Crowley" somebody unknown said as she walked by. He was missing his glasses, his snake eyes were exposed yet this human was not scared, and she had just called him 'king Crowley' what an upgrade. "You look shocked my king, what's the matter?"
"Who are you?" He said visibly confused "and most important, since when I am a king?"
"I'm your help, Annie, don't you remember?"
"Should I?"
"Hmm I see, you don't remember me, what about your master plan?, fighting Heaven and Hell till the end times..."
"Nothing." He did definitely not have a clue, maybe losing Aziraphale had messed with his mind.
"Do you even remember who you are?" Annie wondered what was wrong with his king.
"I am Crowley, a demon, and I've just lost my best friend also, apparently I've traveled through time to some sort of post apocalyptic universe in which now I am a king."
Now Annie could understand, he didn't remember nothing of the past 100 years. That's what her king had hired her for, just in case he forgot everything, it was just as if he had predicted this.
"I think you should come with me, we need to talk" She planned taking the demon king somewhere that could make him remember. The field where he took Aziraphale a hundred years ago.
"You are king Crowley, the Snake King, lord of this lands that used to be London before the whole Heaven and Hell war happened and all that stuff. You once told me about someone you loved, the one you are avenging, you told me you took them here, it was special for you, but then they were killed, you told me it was an angel, and they were burnt to death, all you kept was that feather you are playing with right now. You told me you were sentenced to death as well, but the holy water didn't burn you anymore, so you escaped, became a new demon, the most powerful, who could not be killed by the usual means, and when the war happened you became king to get your revenge you had everything planned, and today was going to be the big day."
"So I traveled through time" Crowley could not believe it, what sort of madness was this? A king? Why would he be king of anything? "And exactly what was I going to do today?"
"You were going back, to get your revenge, you would set Heaven and Hell on fire, make them suffer, you are a tyrant to them, here you are the Snake King, we obey your orders, you have your own army and they are ready to go"
"Okay so I need to go back there and burn some assholes to death, that's it?"
"You said that"
"Exactly how long since I got this feather?"
"A hundred years more or less"
"Fuck" he had really travelled through time, but he was going back, apparently he was now prepared to destroy them "Okay whatever, I'll do it"
And so he did.
He returned back to where he had been a few hours ago, a hundred years according to Annie, ready to bring chaos with his army. It all went well until Crowley saw something he didn't need to see again. The room where everything had ended for him. Even if a hundred years had gone by, he could still see the fire burning, he could still see Aziraphale dying, he saw himself shouting, crying, falling to the floor, desperate, and all the water dripping over his body, in hopes he would die, but he didn't.
Everything was happening again Aziraphale dying was on repeat.
But the circle broke when once again, the holy water hit Crowley's face, it was cold.
Crowley woke up.
First thing he saw was water falling from his face, when his vision cleared, he saw Aziraphale, a glass on his hand, empty, he was on his couch.
It had all been a dream, no future, no Aziraphale dying, he couldn't believe it.
"Time to wake up sunshine" Aziraphale said with a smile on his face, as always.
Crowley got on his feet at the speed of light and hugged the angel like if there was no tomorrow, they both fell into the couch.
"You are alive" Crowley whispered "don't you call me sunshine ever again angel"
"Why wouldn't I be alive?" Aziraphale said as he tried to escape the demon's grip, who was still hugging him as if the end of times was imminent.
"It was just a bad dream, a very, very bad dream" Crowley didn't feel like letting the angel go, he had lost him in his dreams, who knows what had been a dream and what not? He was not letting him go anytime soon. "What's the last thing you remember of me before I fell asleep?"
"You passed out at my couch after you came because I missed our date"
So the angel being distant and missing their date hadn't been part of the dream? That was disappointing.
"Why did you miss our date?" He wanted to know, he didn't want his dream to be real.
"Someone cut out all the telephone lines in London and I couldn't tell you by phone, I had visit, humans, I couldn't cancel on time, you know, telephone line is down"
"I forgot I did that" he had done it, sometimes he forgot he also lived in London and his petty puns could affect him as well.
"Are you letting me go now?" Aziraphale said, still on top of Crowley who was still hugging him, with no plans of stoping soon.
"Kiss me and I'll think about it" Crowley, even if he still remembered the dream, could not miss an opportunity like this.
"If that's what it takes..." Aziraphale pressed his soft angel lips over Crowley's, he owed him that, for missing their date.