twenty-three.

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the party was finally finished. all the elites and the celebrities were finally gone.

but jongdae still couldn't breathe comfortably.

"so... christmas movies, anyone?" yixing asked, holding up the grinch and santa claus discs.

"i'm game if you are," baekhyun shrugged, "i'm gonna change, though. dae?"

"yeah, i'm down," jongdae nodded, not looking in his father's direction. he just didn't know how to. there weren't many conversation starters, other than 'is your movie staff nice enough for you to never wonder about your actual son'.

"great," boyoung said happily, "sweetheart, a word, please?"

"sure," woobin and jongdae said at the same time. jongdae froze.

"oh- oh, you meant him," jongdae nodded, then whispering, "i want to erase myself right now."

"come on, dae, you should change from that," baekhyun said, saving him and pulling him up the stairs. once they were safely in jongdae's room, jongdae slid down the wall.

"was it bad as how it is in my head?" jongdae asked, burying his head in his hands. baekhyun sighed, sitting down besides him. slowly, one by one, his friends entered the room, all sitting on the floor around him in a supportive circle.

"it's alright, dae," baekhyun said, "really, the night is almost over."

"yeah but then there's tomorrow morning," jongdae cried into his hands, "and i really don't want to have an awkward christmas morning."

"aish, come here," yixing sighed, hugging jongdae, "it'll be okay, dae."

"it really will," junmyeon said, nodding, "besides, we'll be here in the afternoon."

"definitely," chanyeol nodded, "you can do this, dae."

"every- everything's going wrong," jongdae said, beginning to sob into his hands, covering his face, "god, everything is so so wrong."

"shh, shh," baekhyun sighed, rubbing jongdae's back up and down, "everything may seem wrong right now but we've totally got this, yeah?"

"yeah, dae, if there's anyone who can handle this, its you," jongin nodded. jongdae sniffled, wiping his eyes.

"t-thanks, guys," jongdae said, junmyeon and yixing helping him to his feet, "it really means a lot."

"of course," baekhyun nodded, "alright, all the tops out, we need to change out of the fancy clothes."

"alright," chanyeol nodded, he, jongin, and yixing leaving the room, leaving only junmyeon and baekhyun to comfort jongdae.

"it's getting really, really cold, so let's get you into something warm, yeah?" junmyeon asked jongdae. jongdae nodded.

"y-yeah, thanks, hyung," jongdae nodded. junmyeon smiled at him.

"no problem, dae," junmyeon smiled, "come on, let's get your makeup off. baekhyun, get him something warm."

"already on it," baekhyun nodded as he pulled out a pair of fuzzy joggers that jongdae used for the winter, "i gotta get me some of these, they're seriously soft. and cute."

"i have two extra pairs if you both wanna use them," jongdae nodded, letting junmyeon take off his makeup for him.

"i'm stealing these until i get some, then," baekhyun said. jongdae let out a slight laugh, junmyeon taking off his lip tint.

when he was finished, junmyeon began to help him take out his contacts. his mother walked in, seeing junmyeon about to take out his contacts.

"oh, i've got it. thanks, myeon," boyoung smiled, going to take over.

"ah, no thanks, mum," jongdae said, "i don't let people touch my eyes, i don't even like touching my eyes."

"but junmyeon-"

"ah, mrs. kim, i was the one who first got jongdae a pair of contacts and helped him put them in," junmyeon explained, retaking over the job, "so he's accustomed to me helping him with these type of things."

"these type of things? what else, junmyeon?" boyoung asked, pretending not to be sad that her son didn't trust her enough to go near his eyes.

"he got me my first pair of contacts, colored contacts, mascara, eyeliner, other makeup products. sometimes junmyeon comes over and helps me with my laundry, too," jongdae said, completely still as junmyeon carefully took out the first contact.

"yep, myeon is the mom friend," baekhyun nodded, changing into some of jongdae's clothes. junmyeon nodded, already used to the name.

"yixing is the father friend. taught him to shave and the manlier stuff," junmyeon explained, taking out the second contact, "there you go, dae, all down."

"and i taught him to use eyeliner because i am the eyeliner god," baekhyun said dramatically. jongdae laughed, nodding.

"yeah, but myeonie hyung taught me how to cook," jongdae said, junmyeon gingerly finger-combing the product out of his hair.

"yep," junmyeon nodded, "alright, there we go."

"thanks, hyung," jongdae said, kissing junmyeon's cheek as he walked past him to where baekhyun had put the clothes for him.

"ah... thank you for taking care of my son for me, junmyeon-ah," boyoung told junmyeon, "i'm grateful."

junmyeon seemed surprised, "oh? ah, i guess we do look out for him. it's no problem, mrs. kim, we're all very protective of him since he's the youngest."

"still- you've taught him how to be an adult and i'm very thankful that you did," boyoung told him, "i know his father and i haven't exactly been present."

"oh... sure, then," junmyeon offered a smile, jongdae silent as he changed, "but, uh, it really wasn't me."

"what do you mean?"

"i grew up early, mum," jongdae explained for junmyeon, "they taught me essentials but i always looked out for myself, too."

"yes, we're very proud of him," junmyeon nodded, "so mature yet still fun."

"i'm- i'm sorry you had to raise yourself, jongdae," boyoung said, looking to the ground, "i should have been a better mother."

"don't be daft, mum," jongdae laughed, "it's fine, don't worry about it. you're a good mum. you contact me."

"yeah, you're not the one who should apologize," baekhyun agreed, helping jongdae into a nice, fluffy hoodie.

"ah, i'm relieved," boyoung said, not realizing that baekhyun was hinting at jongdae's father needing to apologize, "i'll be downstairs when you boys are done, i'll make some popcorn."

"okay, mum," jongdae nodded, junmyeon borrowing some of his clothes. boyoung went back downstairs.

"god, i love her but she can be so dense sometimes," junmyeon sighed, shaking his head. jongdae chuckled.

"ah, well, she doesn't realize she's more of a friend than a mother," jongdae shrugged, "she tries, though, so it's alright."

"yeah, besides," junmyeon nodded, "you've got me to help you make responsible decisions."

"you were right, hyung," jongdae nodded, falling back onto his bed. junmyeon rose an eyebrow.

"what do you mean?" he asked. jongdae sighed, shaking his head as he stared at his ceiling.

"in the end, i only ended up embarrassed."

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