Psychogenic ▸▸ Kellic

✝Nine✝

        10-22

A couple days have passed, but nothing has really changed. Vic and I still avoid each other. Andy and I hang out while Vic goes with Philomena. Sometimes we pass notes secretly, and sometimes we get to  talk in the cell, but it's rare.

"Kellin Quinn." I heard her raspy voice say boldly. I turned around and faced Sister Margaret who was standing in the doorway. My eyes widened. "Come over here." I gulped down the lump in my throat before walking away from Andy. My eyes met Vic. 

When I was close enough to her, she locked onto my arm and dragged me down the hall into her office. I cringed at the memory of this room. 

"You are in big trouble." She began, slamming the door shut. I watched the cross shake, but never fall. "You want to confess?" She spoke again.

"I didn't d-do anything." I replied softly, staring at me feet. She sighed.

"Very well then. One of the guards saw you in our hallway camera while Andy was being cared for. I know you saw us." I gulped. "Patient care is classified information that you are not allowed to know."

"Well I do." I admitted, gritting my teeth. I wasn't sitting down this time. "What are you going to do about it?" She raised her eyebrows, picking up a cane from the corner of the room. My heart beat quickened. 

"Frontal lobotomy in three days." She said in my ear before smacking me on calves with the cane. I cringed in discomfort. "Now go." I walked out of the room and made my way back to the main hall without the help of the guards. 

When I returned, Vic hurried up to me. He didn't seem to care about the guards, or anything in fact.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, his brown eyes wide open. I nodded.

"She said in three days I have a frontal lobotomy, but I don't know what that is." I admitted. His eyes glanced around the room.

"Philomena!" He called, and she walked over to us.

"What do you need?"

"What is a frontal lobotomy?" Her eyes widened.

"That's a procedure t-that..." She trailed off and looked down to the ground. Vic nudged her. "They erase parts of your memory." She whispered. My breathing stifled. They wanted to erase my memory?

✝

"They can't do that to you." Vic rambled, pacing back and forth in our cell. I guess he didn't care that we were being monitored anymore. 

"Apparently they can."

"I'm not letting them do that to you." He stopped and looked at me. I shook my head.

"Don't fight them Vic, we have no chance." He sat down and covered his face with his sleeves. 

"We can't just give up Kellin. We have to refuse this surgery. You can't just be okay with forgetting everything."

"I'm not." I shot back meekly. "I just don't feel confident in fighting back." 

"I'm going to get in so much trouble for this." He mumbled before grabbing his pillow case. He motioned for me to follow him, so I did. We went into the corner where the camera was.

"Boost me up." I quirked my eyebrows, but helped him up. When he got off of me I saw he had covered the lens.

We sat down on the bed.

"They'll be here soon, so I'm gonna talk fast, okay?" I nodded. His hand landed upon mine, making my heart freeze.  "I don't want you to forget about me Kellin. I can't let them rip you out of the palms of my hands. This is the worst time to really say this, but I really, really like you. You mean a lot to me even though I haven't known you for a long time." He spoke quickly but enunciated each and every word. I was hanging on the edge.

My eyes gazed into his, looking for any signs of uncertainty or worry. There was none of those things there. My gaze drifted down to his lips. This was the first time I'd really looked at him so close. Vic looked so delicate and gentle. I wanted to kiss him so bad, but before I knew it, the guards were unlocking the door.

Vic moved back to his bed. In walked in two guards and surprising enough, only Sister Cecelia.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked firmly, pointing at the pillow case dangling off of the camera. I watched her stand up on her tip-toes and yank it off. Fortunately the camera didn't come down with it. "This is a warning boys. Sister Margaret would show no mercy for you two, but I will. Do not cover our equipment again." She spat harshly before throwing the case on the floor and exiting the cell with the guards. 

I looked back at Vic longingly. My mind said to stay away from him for the sake of our safety, but my heart said otherwise. When he was beside me I felt like a new person. I just seemed so much more lively with him around me. He seemed to make my bad days, which is every day here, just a tiny bit better. 

Vic and I didn't speak for the rest of the night. Every once and awhile I caught his eye, but other than that, it was dead silent. I wish you could hear the crickets chirping. 

I watched as Vic finally settled down in bed and closed his eyes. I watched him toss and turn before he fell fast asleep in a short period of time. I knew now I could sleep.

Sometimes I found it hard to sleep when I knew he was awake, possibly watching me. It's not like I disliked the thought of him watching me, but just the whole fact if something happens. When I sleep, it takes a lot to wake me up.

I rolled over onto my side and snuggled against my now clean pillowcase. Apparently at the end of the week they clean our sheets, but only once every week and a half do they clean our ragged clothes. We also have baths then Philomena said.

My mind was consumed in all the thoughts of what the future holds for me. And I wish I could say it looked bright, but it didn't. Not anymore anyways.

I used to have a future.

With a deep sigh, I blew the thoughts away and vanished into the deep darkness I like to call home.

It's the closest thing to home that I'm ever going to get.