Psychogenic ▸▸ Kellic

✝Seventeen✝

        10-30

The memory of facing Vic again yesterday haunted me for hours. He smiled at me, which was heartwarming, but I feel as if it was an act. They took him down the hall leading to Sister Margaret's office. I wonder if she hurt him. I clenched my fists at the thought of her. She's putrid.

"Are you alright?" Bethany asked me from my side. 

"O-Oh...Yeah." I replied slowly before continuing to roll the dough in front me. Apparently I was working every morning now.

"If you want, I can request you back to your cell after this." She offered nicely. I thought about it.

"Yeah...How?" I questioned, taking the next pile of dough she handed me. "And why are we still rolling bread?" She smiled.

"I work here, so I can request for workers to go back to their cell if they're too fatigue. And Arkham comes on Halloween, we're having a feast." 

"You'd lie for me?" She nodded, gazing around the room for a moment.

"I know you're not sick Kellin." She whispered, catching me off guard. "I trust you, and I don't think it's fair that you're locked up in here. It's the same thing with Vic."

"Can you get us out of here?" I asked eagerly in the hopes she'd help.

"Sadly, no. I'll get caught no matter what." I frowned. Damnit.

"I'm never getting out of here." I muttered.

"Never lose hope, you may leave some day. Maybe it won't be for a long time, or maybe it will be tomorrow." She smiled before grabbing a tray off the counter. "You're free to go, I'll go request the guards to return you to your cell."

"Thank you." I said before slipping off my gloves and existing the kitchen.

"Hard labor?" Andy asked me almost immediately. I smiled slyly.

"Not really, I'm going back to my cell now."

"Have fun." He said teasingly before walking off yet again. He never stuck around for long anymore. 

The guards approached me a few minutes later, so I simply stood up and followed them down the hall. It was still early, but I didn't see the point in staying out there if I had nothing to do. I liked being secluded anymore.

The door opened, so I walked into the cell and watched the guards lock me up and leave. Quietly, I sat on the bed and pulled out the bow yet again, hiding it behind my pillow of course. I then pulled out a pen.

Did I fail to mention I got a pen off of Bethany. She's the sweetest girl I've ever met, even if she can't help us get out of here.

Slowly, I traced the bow and smiled before unfolding the paper little by little. A few minutes later, there was no longer a bow in my hands, but instead a crinkled up piece of paper. There was small holes in it as well, but I didn't mind.

I removed the cap from the pen and pressed the paper against the pillow. It's hard to write on a soft surface, but it's all I have.

Slowly, I began to write. It felt good, having something back that I always thought was normal. I wasn't used to writing, even though I did it almost everyday in my normal life.

But this wasn't my normal life. I thought about how I wanted to say this to him. I had one day to complete this.

One day to end it all. I decided since tomorrow was Halloween, I should be happy. 

And what better way to be happy than to be free?

        Dear Vic,

If you get this, it's Kellin. I have a few things I want to say to you. I don't know when you'll get this letter, but hopefully it's not too far in the future. I'm writing this October 30th.

I read over what I had written. It took me a few minutes because I was afraid I was going to rip the paper. With a huff, I continued to write.

First off, I want to say thank you. Of course I'd say that, but it's really sincere. I mean everything I have to say in this letter. From the second I sat by you on the bus, I knew I liked you. And the minute I discovered I wasn't going to return home, you still were determined to escape. I hope you still have determination while you're reading this. I want you to try Vic, I want you to refuse. You'll be fine without me.

I wiped at my eyes that were stinging with tears. Hopefully the camera didn't notice me right now.

I want you to escape and tell the world your story, because it deserves to be known. Maybe they'll shut down this place if you do. Don't be sad that I'm gone, be happy. Things are going to be just fine without me. Life will go on, you'll meet someone new and fall in love with them.

And out of love with me.

I believe in you. Even though we only knew each other for about a month, I've trusted you more than anyone else. After all the shit we went through, how could I not trust you? Thank you for sticking up for me. Whether it be from threatening Grilden to telling me you love me, thank you. All I really needed was some closure, and you've given me that.

A tear fell onto the paper, smearing the ink slightly. It didn't look bad though.

I guess that's all I can really say to you. I have a good metaphor I wanted to end this on thought. Look at me like a bird. It's time for me to spread my wings and go do bigger and better things. I can't do these things here anymore. I know, it's a stupid metaphor, but it's true. And you're going to do the same, here on Earth. Everything will be okay in the end.

I love you Vic, just remember that much.

In the end, I really did fall in love with you.