Whole Again (book 4)

Chapter 14

Jade

"Momma."

"Come here, baby." I reached down, pulling Addie into my arms. She curled her little head into my neck, letting me breathe her in.

"Love you, sweet girl." I gave her cheeks some kisses before pulling away. She smiled, resting her head against my shoulder. Colby took Alex out for guys giving me some time with Addie. In the past couple of weeks, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. After coming home from the lake house, the twins haven't left my side.

"What are you girls up to?" Jane walked over, sitting on the other side of the couch. Addie looked over at her before resting her head back down.

"Snuggling. Colby took Alex out for a boy's day." I sighed, running my fingers through Addie's hair. She closed her little eyes as it is getting closer to nap time. I watched her for a minute before turning towards my aunt.

"Is it crazy that I wanted my mom here?" She sighed, shaking her head. My mom and aunt Jane have had a rocky relationship for as long as I know.

"No, she's your mom."

"She never held them or had any opinion on anything. All I want is for her to wrap her arms around me and tell me everything is okay. How messed up is that? I look at Addie and pray she never has to know that pain and the same with Alex. I just don't get it."

"It's not messed up at all. She should be here for this. I know she has a hard time showing it, but she does love you. She regrets not being able to hold them." I snuggled Addie closer before looking over at my aunt. I could tell on her face that she was trying to hide something from me.

"What are you hiding?"

"Your mom called about a week after you got here to see how you were doing. She asks for updates every couple of weeks."

"Momma," Addie said, lifting her head and pointing to the kitchen. Emily walked in smiling at us, with Saige walking behind her.

"Go see Emily and Saige. Can you guys get her a snack?"

"Of course, come here, munchkin." Emily pulled her from my arms, taking her into the kitchen. I watched them for a minute before turning back to my aunt.

"Why did you never tell me?"

"She asked me not to. When you first got here, you were going through so much. I'm sorry I never told you. I didn't want to set you back."

"Is she still with my dad?" She nodded, making me sigh. Growing up, my dad was hardly around, and when he was bitter. Mom put up with it when I was young, but over time, she also became bitter. Finding out that their only daughter was pregnant was the last nail in the coffin. When I told my parents I could see my mom break a little, my dad started yelling. 

"I guess her sending me here is her way of making sure I'll be okay." She nodded, walking over to pull me into her arms.

"I'm glad I got to be a part of this. If and whenever you're ready to reach out to her, I'll be here."

"Thank you." I cried as she wiped my tears away.

"I didn't tell her what happened. That is something that needs to come from you if you choose to tell her." I nodded, knowing she was talking about the miscarriage. For the last couple of weeks, it has been on my mind constantly. 

"Momma." I heard Alex yell a few hours later. After my talk with aunt Jane, Addie and I took a nap before curling back up on the couch.

"Hey, buddy, did you have fun?" I smiled at him as Colby let in down next to me. Colby leaned in to kiss me before sitting on the other side of Alex. 

"Yeah, we played at the park and checked out a few places near campus."

"Oh." I sighed as Alex crawled into my lap next to Addie. My favorite part of the day is holding these two together.

"There was one with two bedrooms. Perfect size for the twins and you, of course." I nodded, giving the twins kisses. As ready as I am for Colby and I have to have our space, I'm terrified. 

"You guys hungry? Elliot is making hamburgers."

"Sounds great, thank you." 

After dinner, we got the twins in the bath and ready for bed. I grabbed some pajamas going into the bathroom. I turned on the tub, going over to the sink, washing my face.

"Jade," Colby whispered as he walked into the bathroom. I turned around just as he turned off the water to the tub.

"Hmm."

"Talk to me."

"Are you getting in?"

"Do you want me to?" I nodded, making him sigh in relief. We stripped down before climbing into the tub. 

"My mom has been keeping me since I've been here. Every couple of weeks, she'll contact Aunt Jane and get updates." He nodded, wrapping his arms around me. I sighed, resting my head against his chest like the weight of everything surfaced. 

"Is she still with your dad?"

"Yeah. As long as she with him I will never know if she's genuine." He placed kisses on my shoulders, making me look up at him.

"You don't agree?"

"I do agree. You know my story, and I'm thankful I have both my mom and birth mom. I'm not saying you have to let her in fully, but maybe a little here and there. Show her what's she's missing."

"I know your right, but I'm scared. It's not just about me anymore. It's our kids. It could be the best or worst thing."

"Take your time." 

We soaked in the tub a little longer before climbing into bed. He pulled me into his arms as I rested my head against his chest. I took a second breathing him. 

"I know I don't tell you enough but thank you for everything you've done for us. I don't know how I would have coped through all of this without you. I love you."

"I love you too. You're my rock, Jade Shaw."