Nothing But Trouble

10/*ssholes at diners

ch9: *ssholes at diners
blake ren

Things were shady at the apartment complex that I lived in. They were shadier behind closed doors. And I saw all of it. I was the one who lived in the infamous 3B. The things the neighbors must hear, crashing, yelling, crying. They'll peek their heads out the front door to stare at ours, or roll over in their bed and shove a pillow over their ears. People in my apartment complex don't check on each other. We aren't borrowing sugar and eggs from each other to make fucking banana bread and then share it together later.

Where I lived, you kept to yourself. You lock eyes with the guy that lives two doors down, a bleeding nose and a swelling bump on the side of your head. He'll flick out his cigarette and his eyes will be angry, screaming you should have just done whatever the hell you were supposed to do to make that not happen. And then you break eye contact and he'll look back over the balcony while you race down the stairs like you had somewhere to be.

It'll never change. People like Tommy can come into your life and you wonder that maybe things aren't so bad. But Tommy is just a single droplet of rain in a scorching hot desert. The goddamn flood gates need to burst if we want to see change in our small insignificant corner of the world.

         I've accepted this a long time ago. This wasn't a cute little bedtime story, about the conventionally attractive white girl living a sad life and then poof fucking Fairy God Mother fixes everything and we all live in a world of fuzzy warm feelings and happily ever afters. This was the real world and you fight and kick and scream your way through your battles until you either give up or something happens that implies you've won. Then you pass the time until the next battle begins.

        Life was cruel. Sometimes people were crueler. It just depends on the kind of day you're having.

        As for me, for how things typically go, I was having a pretty okay one.

         I had finally gotten the answers from that diphead and successfully accomplished the quiz. As I expected, I worked a lot harder than I needed to for them but at least I'll be able to have answers for when I really need them. Like when we get to particles and shit. Shivers.

        Penny didn't show up to class yesterday but came today, her hair looking as glamorous as ever, like the paint had something to do with it and not the two hour scalp rejuvenation therapy and hundred dollar blowout she had done. The videos were still circulating and, yes, it was still funny as shit.

        The cafeteria was also serving Papa John's Pizza today so that might've been the best part.

        But now it was the middle of the night and I was currently holed away in my room, curled up with my five dollar reading light clamp from the bookstore and a crime horror novel I found in the clearance section a few days ago. It was in the serial killer's point of view, who was actually the detective for his own case along with this other cop who he was pretending to fall in love with, and the objective is to see if he can pin the blame of his own murders on someone else in the police force before they trace it back to him.

        Again it was from the clearance section so it kind of sucked, but like it wasn't horrible and I don't know how to fall asleep at night, which makes it hard to put down. If I had access to the internet, or maybe a phone that wasn't from the early 2000s with regrettable anime stickers that I attempt to scratch off when I'm bored, I would be watching stupid youtube videos until eventually my brain shuts down for the night.

        I don't though, so instead I have to stay up until around three or four in the morning, occupied with books and listening to music, munching on snacks I've stowed away in my room from Vince, slamming my head against the wall in frustration that I'm not asleep, and then next thing I know I'm fighting my alarm clock the following morning after it gives me a mini heart attack.