N I N E T E E N

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It turned out that Christopher was indeed what Raye said he was and I was never more confused about it. She and I stayed up late that night discussing everything and it's where I confessed to all the information I'd gotten about her. I told her that he fed me all I wanted to know; she finally made me realize that she was right. It wasn't just a coincidence that Christopher just so happens to have a dragon tattoo on his back and was really street smart, but it was because of his involvement with a gang.

After I learned the truth I didn't say a word to anyone, I kept that bit of information to myself. I saw him and my other friends at work and I kept our interactions based on the usual.
Eventually, I succumbed and shared details about the girl I was dating but some things remained anonymous. I told them the basics, her name was Rachel and that she ran a few of her family's businesses— pretty much the same things I told my family but far from the actual truth. They seemed contented but hinted that they still wanted to meet her.

"Maybe we can all have a date night together, bring our partners. It would be fun," Ava suggested, but no one was feeling it, not even a little.

"I don't think that would be a smart idea like I don't want Michael anywhere I'm gonna be. I want to enjoy shit without him nagging in my ears, so that's a no sis."

"I agree with Mia. I'm not tryna party with all of your significant others, that's just gay," Chris said and I laughed.

He was such a nice guy and in every way. Brown eyes, dimpled cheeks, and he had the most amazing head of hair I've ever seen on a man. It was long and always neatly kept. He had a great personality yet I still couldn't believe he was a gangster too. Like I said, I didn't say a word to anyone, I just ignored it for both of our sakes.

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Time went by a little, probably a few weeks and I began hanging out with my friends again as per usual. Raye and I were happy to have met each other and our relationship was blooming.
We met at least once a week and we'd enjoy each other's company to the fullest. I was introduced to one of Raye's cousin Gabriele, and it was safe to say that the entire family had the same charm about them or at least the ones that I met. They were all witty and outspoken, but with the potential to be dangerous.

I started going to her family's restaurant more often and familiarized myself with a few of the faces. Most of the guys that were there were from different families all apart of the mafia, and they would hang out in abundance where ever Raye would be and they usually blend well into the crowd.

Everything was going alright in my life so far and I was never happier. I felt contentment and genuine joy, but I was still very nervous about my family and friends meeting Raye. I wanted them too, but I was just so afraid they'd condemn our relationship. The more I thought about it the further into the back of my mind I pushed it.
Leaving it for "maybe one day". So I left it.

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It wasn't long after I learned the truth about Christopher that some things started appearing weird with him. Whenever I would hang with them at our lunch hour, he would be distant and quiet. He'd have fewer things to say to me and I tried figuring out what may have gone wrong to make him act like that.

One day we were sitting at lunch out in the open area of the cafeteria just him, Ava and I. She stepped away for a little leaving us alone and I felt a tension I'd never felt before. I was hoping that the reason for his soundlessness wasn't because he knew that I knew what he did on the down low, but all was settled when he spoke up.

"When were you going to say something?"

"Excuse me?" I oblivious to what he was asking but he chuckled.

"Not gonna lie Brie, you surprise me. You can keep a secret better than the government," he said and I knew the jig was up.

"How long you intended on this being a secret, that you were dating someone from the Italian mob and that she told you about what I did?"

"As long as possible. Look, Chris, if you're worried that I'll tell I'm here to assure you that I won't, I swear. You're my friend and I'd never do that."

"I'm not worried about you telling everyone that I'm apart of a gang Brie. I'm upset and worried that you've been dating her of all people. You know how dangerous that girl is, yet somehow you're with her."

"I knew you and everyone would say that and it's why I've kept it to myself this long. I know what it means dating her but so far I've not encountered any dangers, she promised me I wouldn't."

"It's a gamble and I hope you know. I'm not here to try and stop you from wanting her but I want you to be careful. It ain't easy out there."

"I know, I know, I swear it, " I said, feeling somewhat emotional. It was the first time I spoke about my relationship with Raye to some besides her and it felt different. I felt exposed to some sorts and I knew I was being judged for being gullible and naive, but I wasn't. It was hard to explain what I wasn't any of those things. I knew the dangers of being with Raye but I also knew that if I kept in the shadows I'd never be apart of it. So far I wasn't.

Chris and I talked about it for a while. I explained everything that happened from that night onwards, and how Raye and I got to know each other and the tension surrounding us dissipated.

"I should've known something was up when you started asking about Raye, but it just seemed so unlikely that you both would be a thing. I'm not saying that you're not hot or anything, but that she's so resilient and tough and out there and you're this girl everyone knows is so sweet and tender, "

"Jesus Chris, I know what I am and I know how bad this looks," I said staring at him intensely and he laughed.

"But you, I need you to be careful. I don't want you getting hurt."  I added and he looked away.

"I didn't tell you that she came to my apartment, did I?" My eyes bulged in surprise and terror.

"What?"

"Don't let her know that I told you, but it's how I knew you guys were a thing,"

"What did she do to you?" I questioned feeling a knot form within my stomach. The idea of Raye roughing Chris up because of me made me feel a bit queasy in the stomach.

"Nothing. She just asked if I knew you and that she wanted me to be careful out there. She knew we were friends and she assured me that I'd never get hurt by her guys, because of you."

"She actually said that?"

"Yeah, after all, I'm not the one she should be worried about, not me and my boys. We do our own thing."

"Oh," was all I could've said to his response. I was still so confused about all of it. Like what else did I need to know about the people around me, whose personal life didn't consist of inconspicuous things?

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