Different Worlds (wlw) Editing

T H I R T Y - N I N E

Little over a week had gone by since the funeral and all the mess that came with it had ended.

I'd finally reached out to my friends after disassociating myself and it turned out that they were mostly concerned rather than angry that I pulled away.

Each of them knew what was happening in my life except for Ava. No one had told her anything and she was lost until I confessed the bone-chilling and book worthy details of my new life.
I left nothing out and at the end of it, she stared at me, green eyes and all with a pitiful expression draped across her oval face.

"So what are you going to do, this is kinda serious?" She asked and I looked at her with a blank stare.

Both Chris and Mia remained quiet as I was explaining most of my personal life to Ava and I was somewhat glad that they allowed me to be the one to do it. It's not that I would've cared if they did but it showed how much the respected and regarded boundaries all while keeping such a thing a secret.

"To be honest, I'm scared and because I'm scared I don't know what I'd do."

"You love her though right?"

"Yes Ava I do, and it doesn't help that I'm madly in love with this girl when I know I shouldn't be. Because of my own selfishness, I've gotten myself into danger and probably everyone I know."

"Including us?"

"Including you guys but nothing's happened to any of you which is good and I'm hoping it stays that way."

"Oh. But you have to think of what you're doing carefully. Do you really wanna spend the rest of your life watching over your shoulders because of her?"

Ava's question hit me like a brick wall.
My mind raced off with the question searching in all possible corners for the answer.

Would I want to spend the rest of my life in fear because I loved Raye?

Part of me didn't see it as something bad and that was the irrational bit that was in love, then the other more rational side already knew that I wouldn't stay but that side and it claims were disregarded. Mainly because it didn't felt strongly what the other half did.

Now I'm just conflicted, unable to determine what I truly felt.

I couldn't answer Ava's question, instead, I stood up from our lunch table: which was our usual table in the opened area of the cafeteria and I started to make my way back inside.
My break wasn't over yet but I felt like it was. I couldn't quite stomach the questions and the glances anymore so I left.

For the remainder of the day, I didn't see any of my friends.
And after my shift had ended I was emotionally and physically drained that I couldn't remember my journey from the floor that I was on then to whoever awaited me outside.

I was just greeted with a face I was now getting familiar with all over again.

I recognized him nevertheless. He was the guy that translated what Raye said to me at the funeral. A few days ago I learned his name, it was Michael but everyone called him Mickey for short.

On the way to Raye's apartment, he kept yapping away at me, much unlike what Jimmy would've done.

"So how was ya day today doll?" He questioned me, his accent much deeper than the ones I'd normally hear.

He was a ridiculous man once you got to know him and in a few short days, I was able to say that without caring if I'd be viewed as hard or prejudicial. It was the truth. He was ridiculous in the sense that he had no respect for boundaries nor etiquette.
He chewed gum while he spoke, shout at women while driving and swore like a sailor without caring who was in his presence.