Different Worlds (wlw) Editing

T H I R T Y- T W O

I was still shaking when I'd gotten to the restaurant. Raye's uncle, Luca, had met me and he'd already heard what transpired and made sure to stay at my side until Raye showed up.

"Brienna," she called out and I stood up immediately when I saw her. She very firmly clasped my face in between her palms which were currently sweaty. She kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes at the tranquillity that washed over me.

"Are you okay?" I felt her tremble, and it made my eyes grew hot, my vision inevitably becoming blurred.

"I'm fine," I said covering her hands with mine and the look in her hazel orbs made me feel cared for, safe.
Her eyes were so soft as she glared down at me. I'd seen the look many times but my insides never got used to it. It's like the more I saw it, it felt new to me and right at that instant, it made me mushy.

"You're not hurt right?"

"I'm fine Raye," I answered and again she kissed me.

"Thank goodness!" She exhaled and pulled me in for a tight hug.

"I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry your apartment got trashed and I'm sorry you got scared. I'm going to kill whoever did that," Raye stressed and I felt her vibrate even harder in my hold.

"Stop that!" I said, pulling away from her and she froze.

"What?"

"You won't do that, promise me you?"

"I can't do that Brienna, and you know why. Someone's been fucking with me and now you're getting targeted. I can't just sit idly by while this happens. Think about it for a second, what if they had gone there when you were home, huh?" She said and I grew quiet.

"Right. I'm going to find those sons of bitches and I'm going to have my guys take care of them," she added and her nostrils flared.

"Okay," I replied quietly.

She watched me for a moment or two and we didn't exchange anything towards the other. Raye just grabbed hold of my arm and led me to the back of the restaurant to a room where it was just the two of us.

It had a storage room kinda feel about it, but it wasn't huge. She sat me down in a chair and she pulled one up beside me.

"Baby?"

I turned my face towards hers and she sighed. She was exhausted and so was I.

"I really don't know what to say to you,"

"What is there to say?"

"I don't know. I don't know what's going through your mind right now. I wish I knew," she trailed off and I looked down at the roughed floor. I saw nothing but concrete and my regrets.

"I should've listened to you," I whispered.

"Brienna, stop, none of this was your fault,"

"I feel like it is. You saw this coming and you kept trying to warn me. I saw it too but I did nothing."

"What are you talking about, that you saw it too?" Raye was annoyed, I could tell. She was frowning at me, the muscles in her jaw were working vigorously and I knew what came afterwards I was deserving of.

"Brienna, talk to me. What are you talking about?"

"I-uhh," I trailed off. In my head, I tried to find the perfect words to explain it all to Raye but it didn't matter how I said, I knew she would be upset. So I just went for it.

"I didn't tell you before but a few times I saw a car that looked like yours parked outside of my apartment. It usually left a bit before you would come over to spend the night, so I figured it must've been one of your guys."

The look on Raye's face was frightening. It was like she'd seen a ghost or something.

"Brienna, why didn't you tell me this before?" Her voice was a mere whisper and it wasn't because she was trying to be quiet but because she was angry to an extreme point. I'd seen it before.
When she was angry beyond reasoning she never yells, she speaks softly.

"I figured it was nothing and I didn't want you to worry over it."

"Don't you ever assume that ever again!" She spoke sternly and I blinked rapidly trying not to burst out into tears.

"You should've said something," She whispered and I closed my eyes.

"You're right, I should've. It would've saved us both this but I wasn't sure. I didn't want you to think I was scared or was thinking about these things. I wasn't."

"Brienna, it doesn't matter what you believe in your mind that I will think, you're supposed to trust me enough to share these things. You're supposed to allow me to help you simply because you and I both know you being with me wasn't going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. I expected people to try and hurt you, it's why I kept telling you to move in with me. As long as you are mine I have to protect you, and it's not something I want to be proud of but it needs to be done.

I am a criminal and I'm dangerous, being apart of my life means that people will want to hurt you more than anything else and I can't let that happen. I won't." She said and all my tears started flowing.

I didn't know why I was crying but I guessed it was because of the weight of everything. Raye was right, and about all of it.

I knew what I was getting myself into before I did anyway. I knew she was dangerous but I still allowed her into my life. I knew people would want to hurt me regardless of what I believed or thought. I knew I needed her to protect me, and it couldn't be any other way. I loved Raye and I'd rather do anything but lose her.

I couldn't lose her.

So now as I balled my eyes out over the terrifying events that took place, I finally saw the importance of what she was asking me to do.

Raye just wanted to protect me.

* *

We spent quite some time sitting in that room. I cried and she consoled me for all the time we were there.
In all honesty, I cried so long because it felt wonderful shedding each cathartic tear.

I felt light and relieved that I had done such a thing. Me telling Raye everything that I kept to myself was so freeing; I should've done it sooner.

However, I had nothing else to say.
Raye took me back to her place and upon arriving I saw most of my things there. She'd gotten the guys to fetch all my essentials from back at my apartment and had them packed away and I didn't know how to feel about it.

Sure I was relieved that they brought most of everything, but I was saddened that this was now going to be my home simply because of a few decisions I made a while ago.

I didn't regret being with Raye, but I should've taken precautions. It was hard to do that when she was there and I was absorbing all of her in such a way that I became weak to her.

It was a dangerous thing and I didn't understand the seriousness of our entire situation. But was it too late to get out now, or did I still have a chance?

If I did, would I take it or would I be unable to?