CJ
I woke up and my eyes were heavy...I've been crying all night because of the the possibility that Peter might be right me being with him actually makes me happy and that I may actually be having real feelings for him and last time I had real feelings for someone they left me and I don't wanna go through that again
I got up and got ready for school and I went downstairs and my mom looked at me
"Oh my god what's wrong...have you been crying all night" she asked and I nodded
"Yeah mom...I was" I said
"Please don't tell me it's because you've been thinking about your father" she said and I shook my head no
"No mom...it's not him" I said
"The only time you'll stay up crying all is when- oh no you're not thinking about him are you" she asked
"It's sort of something like that" I said
"What's wrong" she asked
"Mom I'm scared" I said
"You're scared of what...you're never scared of anything" she said
"I'm scared that I might actually have strong feelings for Peter mom" I said and she frowned
"What's wrong with that" she asked
"Mom you know what's wrong with that...I-I don't wanna go through that again I don't think that I could handle going to therapy again...it's just so scary because I was just flirting carelessly and I thought that it was just gonna be a phase but it's not mom...he's does the simplest things and it's just so cute to me and the way he smiles and laughs and whenever he's nervous it's just the cutest thing and it's not hard for him to make me smile" I explained and she hugged me tightly and I hugged her back
"Everyone is gonna go through heartbreak and it's nothing to be scared of because you're always gonna find someone else...honey I've been through 4 heartbreaks before I met your father baby it's gonna okay" she said
"But mom what if Peter is the one and we get married and have kids but then just like dad...he passes away I don't want to go through that mom...I can't" I said
"Look Baby...just because it happened to me doesn't mean it's not gonna happen to you" she said
If she knew what and who he really is...she'd understand why I would think that the same thing that happen to her was gonna happen to me
"Yeah you're right mom...can you drop me off now" I asked
"Yeah let's go" she said and she dropped me off at school and I went to the cafeteria and sat beside Alayna and she looked at me with concerning eyes
"Hey! What's wrong" she asked and I looked at her and she gasped
"You were crying...why were you crying" she asked
"Um well last night I was thinking about something and I um I realized that what happened that day still hurts me to the core" I said and she frowned
"What...your father" she asked
"No...the other thing" I said and she made an o shape with her mouth
"Maybe we could talk it about it...just me and you" Peter suggested
"Look Peter I know that you wanna help her because you really really like her but what she's talking about you have only the slightest idea about it but me I know the whole thing...I'll talk to her alone and when she's ready she'll talk to you because I have a feeling that some of this is about you" Alayna said and she grabbed my hand and we walked out of the cafeteria and into the hallway
