Caged Bird *prequel to Angel Wings and Unchained*

Wake Up Call

After the meeting Negan pulls me aside.

"Why don't you order us lunch and have it sent to my room."

"Sure thing." I smile gently as I collect my things and leave. I'm halfway down the hall when I realize I left my radio in the room. Typical. I'm always leaving, losing, or forgetting something. I turn on my heels and go back to the room when I hear Negan talking to Dwight and Simon and another savior. I don't want to interrupt so I just stand there.

"You've got a soft spot for her don't you?" Simon teases Negan.

"Fuck no I don't. She's a good set of hands, in more ways than one." Negan responds as I can't help but listen.

"Hey I don't blame you, she's hot as hell. And hard working. Not many like her these days." Simon defends me.

"I just have never seen you like this." Dwight laughs.

"Like what?"

"Well she's got you by the balls. It's so obvious. I mean she's basically your wife right?"

"Yeah, she is, kinda. She just doesn't like the fucking label. She's more of an assistant. But what the fuck does any of this shit matter?" Negan asks sounding slightly irritated.

"Seems like you're losing your edge." Dwight teases

"Oh if I'm 'losing my fucking edge' why don't I just go shove my massive dick down Sherry's throat. Remember your place Dwight." Negan practically yells as I realize I should probably go but my feet won't move.

"Shit. I was just fucking around. She's good for you man. You seem... happier."

"And you think it's cause of her? No it's not. She doesn't mean jack shit. Just another wife. Another fuck you can't have. Period."

His words sting. I'm about to turn around but I really need my radio. I fiddle with the door knob long enough for them to stop their conversation as I enter.

"Sorry... forgot my radio." I say awkwardly as I grab it.

"Cancel lunch and take Lucille down to be cleaned. Now." He demands as he storms out. Everyone else just awkwardly making eye contact.

I walk down the stairs into the basement and hand Lucille over to a woman in charge of cleaning her.

"I'll have her done in about thirty minutes." The woman says miserably. I decide to grab a quick bite to eat since Negan bailed on me for lunch. After eating, I pick up Negan's bat and go to deliver it to his room. I don't even bother knocking as usual and just go right in. But I'm not prepared for what I am seeing in front of me.

Negan is making out half dressed with one of his wives on the couch. We awkwardly make eye contact as I begin apologizing.

"I um... I'm sorry. I should've... I'm gonna go." I fumble through apology after apology as I eventually just leave.

"Kendall. Wait... shit." I hear but I don't care. I go to my room and lock the door. What the fuck was that about?

It bothers me, it bothers me deeply but what do I expect? He's got a room full of beautiful woman and I expect him to give it up for me? That was a brutal reminder of who Negan truly is. It was a wake up call that I'll never be the only one he wants.

'Act like it doesn't hurt Kendall. Act like it doesn't hurt.' I say to myself. I bite my lip to stop myself from crying as I hear knocking on my door. It takes everything in me to get up and answer it.

"Um... about that..." Negan says.

"Don't worry about it." I say as nonchalantly as possible.

"What?" Negan asks taken aback by my response.

"Yeah. Like you said, we're friends right. Nothing more. So I guess no explanation is needed. You've made it very clear where you and I stand." I say trying so hard to hold my ground.

"It's not-"

"It's fine. I'm not one of your wives. No strings attached right?"

"Um... right? I guess." His eyebrows knitted together as he rubs his hand on the back of his neck. Awkward silence fills the air.

"I think you should go." I state coldly as he nods in agreement.

"If you still wanna come by tonight..." he trails off.

"No thanks, I've made other plans for tonight." I lie with a small smirk. I don't have plans but I know it'll drive him crazy thinking I do. Maybe I'll go down to the bar or the recreation room. Find a nice guy or something. Take my mind off of Negan because I'm tired of the fake love. The idea that something more could happen between us.

"Oh do you?" He asks stepping forward a step closing the gap between us as if I just flipped an "on" switch.

"Yeah, I actually do. And by the looks of it. So do you. I'll see you around Negan."

"See you around? What the fuck does that mean? You said it didn't fucking matter."

"And it doesn't, not anymore."

"Let me make it up to you." He smirks sexually as I shake my head no.

"Fucking doesn't just automatically make things okay you know. It doesn't solve every problem in the book."

"It's a good start though." He winks.

"Goodbye Negan." I say shutting the door on him.

I let out a sigh as a stray tear falls but I'm quick to wipe it away. It's not worth crying over, someone dying is worth crying over, injury is worth crying over, but this? This isn't worth a single tear.

I open my closet and throw on a white shirt along with a leather black skirt and a black belt. I don't even know where this shit came from, I think I got it to wear to dinner with Negan one night. But just never got around to actually wearing it. I slip on some black heels and brush my hair.

I don't know how this night will go, but I do know I'm in need of a drink.