Caged Bird *prequel to Angel Wings and Unchained*

Relief

I wake up in Negan's room and am completely confused about last night but all I know is I'm super pissed. How I reacted, how he did. Negan isn't on the other side of the bed which comes to a bit of a relief to me. I feel too awkward facing him after last night and I've grown a little bit afraid of him. I know I really struck a nerve but I've never seen him so violent towards me. All I remember was a lot of screaming, a lot of crying, and a lot of fighting. It's all kind of meshed together. I decide to get out of bed and go take a shower. My head is pounding and I'm hoping for some sort of relief. This is just how it goes. We have our good days and bad days and I am starting to drown in the inconsistency of it all.

I take off my shirt and realize the damage that was done and I'm not sure if it was from Negan, Mason, or myself. Bruises coat my arms, I have a couple bruises on my face too. I step into the steaming shower and notice blood and dirt swirling into the drain. Talk about a rough night.

After I'm clean I turn off the faucet and step out of the shower. A towel has appeared on the bathroom sink along with some fresh clothes which I assume means Negan is back. Seeing the towel there brings me back to the first night I was brought here. If only I knew what my life would turn into. It sucks knowing the same person who is destroying you is the same man who also saved you. It's like he was not only my cure, but my disease. I look in the mirror and still look like hell. I wipe the towel across my heart-shaped face and then wrap it around my body to dry off. I shake out my hair and put it up in a high ponytail disregarding the pain in the back of my head. I then opt for some mouthwash until I can get back to my room to properly clean my teeth.

I just stare at the bathroom door trying to muster up the strength to go out and face him. But I can't find it in me. Thankfully he speaks breaking the ice so I don't have to.

"Kendall?"

"Yeah?" I reply

"You coming out anytime soon?"

"Yeah, just... drying off." I respond back. I grab the towel and throw it into the bin with the rest of them. I then pick up the bin of dirty towels and exit the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" Negan asks

"Well first I was gonna bring these dirty towels down to be washed and then I was probably gonna make your bed." I respond. I figure the best thing to do right now is pretend last night never happened and just go back to what I was meant to do for him.  Work. Plus I hope that maybe it would help settle my nerves.

"You don't have to do all that. Really. Take a day off or two would you?"

"I'm fine." I say beginning to walk past him. He puts his hand out in front of me and I can't help but to flinch slightly. I try to repress the instinct but I can tell he notices.

"I'll have one of the wives do it. Need you for something else."

"What?"

"We are gonna go scope out the new community we've been watching for the past week or two. See what they're up to."

"I'd really rather not. But maybe Simon would want to, or Dwight." I say really not wanting to go anywhere with him today. It's not that I don't wanna get out of here, I do. But I would much rather create some distance between him and I. I know this would be the perfect opportunity to forget last night and move forward but I'm not sure if I'm quite ready to move past it all.

"Come on, I think we both could use a little time away from all this shit."

There's something about him that a girl just can't resist. I'm not quite sure if it's the darkness within him, the confidence that just oozes out of him, or the mystery behind him. He's the human form of a Rubik's cube. Just when you think you've got all the colors aligned you flip it over and see a new side to solve.

I give in to going with him, why? I have no damn clue but next thing I know I'm sitting in the passenger seat of his car and we're driving a few feet outside the gates. We sit in silence, not the awkward kind, but not exactly the calm type either. The silence begins to eat away at me and eventually I can't help but to be the one to break it.

"So how far is this place?" I ask.

"Few miles north. Pretty much a fucking straight shot from here." He responds with his eyes not leaving the road. He's always so focused when he drives. I guess it's because it only takes one wrong turn, or one biter, to come out and fuck your whole day up.

We see very few of the dead in the street thankfully. We end up taking a few back roads, I guess to create less of a disturbance. We pull up on top of a hill and Negan turns off the car. We look down below and we can see straight into this new community. Negan pulls out a couple pairs of binoculars as we stare in and watch. There's not as many of them as we have but there's still quite a few of them.

"Have we talked to them?" I ask

"No, not yet. Waiting for the right time. Pretty secure place, this is the only damn spot you can see in where they won't see you. Took us for-fucking-ever to find a way to look in."

"Looks like they have a lot of good resources we could use. Crops, livestock, who knows what else they have. They won't hand it over easily."

"Figured as damn much, we'll get what we need though." He says darker than I'd like. I give him a look of confusion. "What? It's not like I'm gonna kill them all and take it. Shit. We need more people, it's the only way to keep going in this hell hole."

"Agreed." I say looking in, they all look so happy and healthy. Kids are playing, people are talking and laughing. It's nothing like the sanctuary. We have far less kids there, far less excitement. Almost makes me want to join them.

"I was thinking of getting a group together and going to negotiate with them in a few days. Was hoping you'd come along." Negan admits.

"I'll, Um, have to see if I'm around." I lie uncomfortably. I have this feeling in my gut this isn't going to end well.