a beautiful world | wolfstar

nebula

Remus was awakened by a flying mass of stupid.

"MOONY!"

"Fucking hell Sirius! What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!"

Sirius flopped down on his back beside him, arms and legs splayed, grinning happily at the now-awake boy.

"I was bored but now I am not."

Remus scowled. "Congratulations, go suck your dick." He burrowed under the covers, trying to go back to sleep.

He heard Sirius sigh. "It's no fun if I can't see your face."

"I think everything's more fun if you can't see my face," Remus muttered into the mattress.

Suddenly there was a warm weight on his back. "Excuse me?!" Sirius' demanded, trying to pull Remus out of from under the blankets.

Eventually he managed to turn him over and unearth half of Remus' face. "Don't say that ever again."

Sirius was positioned over him, leaning against his side, a little too close. Remus felt like he was burning, acutely aware of every crater in those soft grey eyes and the stardust on those soft pink lips.

"Fine, fine."

"Promise me."

Remus blinked. "What?"

"Promise me you won't even think that again."

I think everything's more fun if you can't see my face, Remus thought.

He pretended to accept defeat, mumbling vague 'yes's and 'promise's here and there. Sirius appeared satisfied, making to move away.

He didn't get very far.

Remus swiftly flipped them over, Sirius now beneath him and looking up in complete shock. Placing his arms either side of the shorter boy's head, Remus tilted his face close to Sirius'.

"I lied, I'm not keeping my promise."

"F-fuck you."

Remus could feel every single place where he was touching the other boy. His legs were pressed tight against Sirius' hips. Their chests were pushed together. Hot breath fanned across his face. Remus took a breath: it smelled of mint.

He started to try breathing through his nose, realising he hadn't brushed his teeth yet.

Sirius was biting his bottom lip. Remus wanted to bite it for him.

HE! IS! JUST! YOUR! FRIEND! his inner voice yelled. YOU! ARE! NOT! GAY!

Remus rolled off him, quickly feeling incredibly embarrassed. It felt like rain was beating against his stomach. His hands were sweating.

Turning his back to Sirius, Remus tried to calm himself. He could feel Sirius' arm brushing against his hip. Even that was too much, so he discreetly shuffled away.

The silence throbbed around them, thumping in their ears with a persistent heartbeat. Behind him, Sirius was still staring at the ceiling, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

He had woken up around half-four in the morning, blankets tight around him and breathing heavily. He remembered dreaming about long white corridors and an incessant beeping. Even though he was awake, the mechanic pulse seemed to continue, dripping through the sleeping room like a leaking tap, irritating, unceasing.

Sirius has stayed still for maybe another fifteen minutes, before deciding to get up and brush his teeth. It wasn't even five o'clock by the time he returned.

So he did the totally normal and utterly expected thing and jumped on Remus' bed.

Sirius wasn't planning on pinning Remus down, or to be pinned down immediately afterwards.

Not to mention the sudden lightning storm taking place in his veins, his blood crackling with electricity, every bit of friction causing stinging currents to flow through his body.

Sirius might have been staring at the ceiling, but in reality was remembering the defiant look in Remus' eyes, amber rich and cold in the half-dark, skin almost white and freckles almost black, looking like a reversed constellation, the scar on his right cheek reaching across like a pale and beautiful nebula.

He put his hands over his face, wondering when his thoughts had decided to progress from oh my fuck he is so adorable adshvjkdhsqowrs to I am the most poetic lil shit in the world look at me spouting odes about Remus' goddamn freckles.

Stupid fucking brain, he thought.

[A/N: if you think about it, his brain is actually telling itself that it's stupid. #brainsneedmoreselfesteem].

Sirius glanced over at the subject of his thoughts. Remus' arms were stiff, shoulders hunched up around his ears and spine uncomfortably straight.

He wondered why Remus had decided to do that to him. Did Remus actually like him back? Was James actually right for once?

But a sinking feeling quickly took over. Why would Remus like him? Even if his freckled friend did like boys, there were many boys around.

Sure, he was alright to look at, but Sirius felt like that wasn't enough. He didn't really think he had much else to offer, and Remus deserved more than the world.

He remembered his mother after he came out, telling him that he was nothing but a whore who after sleeping around with every girl available, had finally decided to turn to boys as a last resort since no one else wanted a slut like him in their bed.

I say telling. I meant screaming, all the while throwing vases and cutlery a little too close to Sirius' head.

The quiet started to prick needles into his skin. He decided to break it.

"Hey, Moony?"

"Yeah?" Remus' voice was shaky and hesitant.

"Why do you keep sneaking off at random times?"

A sigh of relief. Remus turned over, facing Sirius with a thoughtful expression. After a few moments of silence, he replied.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Nope."

Remus gave him a look. "B-but for you, s-sure. Anything."

There was a little more silence. And then there wasn't.

"Ok, so, basically I was a complete idiot and signed up for the annual singing competition because reasons, and now I'm looking for something to actually sing but I can't find anything and dammit why did I decided to do this? I can't even sing for Christ's sake!"

Remus sounded almost hysterical. Sirius, on the other hand, was feeling ridiculously proud.

"Dude, that's awesome! You're so fucking good at singing. And don't worry, you'll figure out something to sing and you will be amazing!"

Sirius was grinning happily. Remus was looking half-sceptical, half-terrified.

"When did you hear me sing?"

"Erm, you remember in fourth year when we all got smashed?" Sirius lied.

"God, don't remind me."

They both smiled at each other, feeling a lot more relaxed than they had a few minutes ago. Lying on their backs, they both studied the ceiling.

[A/N: I'm fairly sure that by this point the ceiling is feeling either incredibly self-absorbed or completely baffled in regards to all the attention. Also heck yes I put two A/Ns in one chapter. Sue me].

"Padfoot?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any song suggestions?"

Sirius glanced over. Remus was looking at him hopefully, the weak rays of the rising sun dyeing him a gentle greyish-gold. The light was a little cold - it was winter now.

The black-haired boy smiled. "I think I have just the thing."