My DID and other stuff

Love as an alter

Okay, so I said that I was going to do another FAQs chapter, and don't worry that's in the works and will be out soon, hopefully.

But, I saw a reoccurring theme throughout the questions that I was getting in the comments and my PMs.

Love.

Like, romantic love, more specifically.

I had never really thought about this one before, but I can imagine that it might be a little confusing to people who aren't a DID system. There's a couple things that I wanted to talk about, and there was enough demand for it, that I just decided to make it it's own chapter.

Hopefully I answer these questions:

Do you guys date within the system? Like, date each other?

Technically, you can. Lots of systems have romance within their system. This develops because of how long you spend every day with the people in your system. The mere exposure effect or whatever. In our system, there is currently no romance within it for us. We see each other as best friends and siblings, and as far as I know, no one has feelings for anyone else.

Even if we did, it wouldn't be likely for any of us to act on it (for our system personally, not speaking for other systems) simply because if you were to break up... you're still stuck with that person in close quarters for the rest of your life.

Do you date outside of the system? How does that work?

Okay, so again, this isn't the same for every system. But with ours personally, all of us have made an agreement that we won't date anyone. Like, ever. Only Faith is able to do that. She will date who she wants, and we can develop a platonic love with that person. We won't date outside of the system.

What if you fall in love with different people?

See, this is exactly the thing. If Faith falls in love with someone, and I fall in love with someone else, Faith is the one who gets to date. It's her body, and her name that is attached to everything that happens. We're here to make her life better. That's our purpose. It would be so difficult to try to manage a system dating two different people. There are so so so many ways that that could go wrong. It wouldn't be fair to the people on the other end, and we would be fighting with ourselves over what's right and what's wrong in those situations. What happens if someone proposes to me? Like, Stormy? Then what? I can't legally get married. I'd get married under Faith's name. She'd be married, not me. Then what about who she was in love with?

It's just better if Faith is the only one who dates.

But what if you fall in love with the same person?

I guess, in theory, it's possible for us all to fall in love with the same person? But it's like... really unlikely. We have different sexualities. Faith is openly bisexual, and if she were to date a female, I would never develop feelings for that person. Even if she did fall in love with a guy, that doesn't mean that I will too. We each have or own tastes and preferences. Even if some of us were to fall in love with the same person... it would be so complicated.

The person would have to be in love with all of us individually in return for it to work. Then that would be a polyamorous relationship, and that's a whole other ballgame. It's just better for us to leave it at the rules that we have set out. Again, this isn't the same for all systems, so.

But, yeah. Anyways... I'm single for life lol. It's a huge ask for anyone to date someone in a DID system. That's a lot of commitment and pressure. You're signing up for a relationship with someone who is full of trauma, and also has other people inside them. So, there are barricades for that reason as well. So yeah, that's that.

If you have any other questions about this, feel free to ask. If you have any questions that aren't related to this, head back into my "ask" chapter and I'll try to answer them in my FAQs next time. Thanks 🙂