The Double Dimple

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Of course I wanted to go with him. I really wanted to go out again, it was the best night of my life and it was good to do something for myself, I needed it.

But what I said was true, I can't have someone pay for me, it's one of my pet peeves, which are also, chewing with your mouth open, singing lyrics wrong, and me being late.

I didn't like people using money on me, I'm not worth it to be honest. I would have to pay them back and if I do that then why did they have to pay at all. I would feel really bad about it and I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Trust me.

I'm not supposed to go out anyway, I might not always be that lucky like I was last night. I don't want another beating, I really don't. I can't handle it right now.

I wish I could go out with him whenever I wanted to, it was nice being with someone who actually wanted me there. He was nice to me and he actually has acknowledged me in life and I really appreciate it, it makes me feel less alone.

As bad as I hate to admit it, I think I like him a little bit. I don't know but he's nice to me, he is good looking, he's smart, he's funny, he has good friends and isn't a bratty popular who thinks they can just do whatever.

I just have a little..a little crush on him, no biggie whatsoever. Or-or an intriguing feeling with him, yes he intrigues me, that's all. That's it.

Oh crap! This is bad, I'm so stupid, I literally was close to him for a few days and now I like him. I can't like him, I can't like anyone.

It's not like he will like me back, specially if he finds out the truth about my pathetic life. Who would want me, I mean look at me. I had fat on my body, more than most girls at my school and I have always been jealous of how perfect they looked.

I had a stomach and fat on my arms and legs and it won't go away. It should have, I walk everywhere, I have no time for leisure activities, and I barely eat.

My hair is frizzy and can't choose being blonde or brown and is almost always greasy from how much I run my hands through it in a day.

My eyes, yeah I love them and I think they are pretty, but they are dead. They show no emotion and have no life.

I am short as can be, I'm like 5,0 or something, I forgot but I'm short and I don't have heels to make myself taller.

I don't look like some super model like the other girls do, they are naturally tall and beautiful and they are skin and bones, they are perfect.

I'm just a disgrace, a disgrace that there own family left her. My brothers may have not left, but I have no clue what happened to my parents.

They could have left me, alone, starved, bored, crying, tired, scared, for three days. After that it wasn't even there doing anymore. After that I was separated from my best friends. Alexander and Jonathon.

Alexander was my older brother, and Jonathon was my other one but I was always closest to Jonathon.

Me and Jonathon playing house, or family games, or school games, with nerf guns, with stuffed animals. When we would go to my favorite restaurant, Sorrento's and he would always win at the claw machine.

Me, Jonathon, and Alexander all on Jonathons bed with my blanket covering all of our legs as we stared at our phones in our hands, we were side by side playing Minecraft on the same map.

They taught me how to make those loom band bracelets, how to write and read, they however didn't teach me how to ride my bike. Kayleigh did. But they tried.

Whenever me and Kayleigh got in a fight and I would be crying on the sidewalk, Jonathon would comfort me and he always hated her. We lived only five houses away and we were close with the family.

I was friends with their friends no matter the age difference because everyone we were friends with was in the neighborhood with us and all the kids in the neighborhood were friends.

When me and my brothers would play man hunt with the kids around us until it got dark or when Jonathon went through the phase of being scared of the dark and slept on a mattress on my bedroom floor.

When me and the boys would grab canvases and paint, print a design and paint it. When we would decorate our ornaments and go to fairs.

When Jonathon and Alexander would both go on Alexander's bunk bed and be on the same map, but they both had a tv on their mattress. Be mindful this was a while ago, when everyone, literally everyone played Minecraft.

The long car rides with the family that me and Jonathon would elbow each other the whole way and bicker.

That one three hour car ride where we were in my mothers van which has two seats in the front, two seats in the middle, and three in the back.

Jonathon was in the middle with me and I wasn't even sitting on my chair right. Meaning I had my feet against the car door window beside me and my head was dangling on the other side so I was horizontal to my vertical seat.

We were on the way back from New Jersey getting my dog Blitz, he was a boy dog but I was a girl and we were trying to come up with a name. I wanted Princess and I was very pouty about it.

Jonathon kept saying that it was a boy dog and it wasn't ever going to be named Princess and called me stupid. Then my mom used her phone to look up popular boy dog names and they picked Blitz and the rest of the trip I couldn't agree with their decision and I kept yelling at them that I wanted Princess.

See how much I've changed, I hate princesses.

I was incredibly close with my family and I was never myself after my parents disappeared.

I miss them

Who would want a girl who lost everything she had to live for, who was broken. One that never would let anyone in, would never laugh the same way or smile, she would probably never see her family again.

Who would want me when they could have the perfect girl, one that didn't come with damage, one that looked beautiful.

I was blessed when I was young but now I'm cursed.

There is no use for me anymore.