The Double Dimple

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Long chapter

It's been a week, I've finished the project and I've managed to not talk to anyone.

I really wish I didn't feel so bad about it, Jackson's probably over it by now, I mean I'm not worth remembering. That doesn't help me though because I didn't ignore them I avoided them and they knew.

They haven't stopped trying though, whenever they would spot me in the hallway or see me in my room they would point at me and try to run to me or throw things at my window. I would just pretend I didn't see or hear them and walk the other way but they caught on.

I felt like Kayleigh and I didn't want to, is it selfish to protect my feelings and hurt someone else's in the process, of course it is. But I've been hurt for such a long time, I don't want to get hurt by him.

That's not how I should think.

I've had these feelings for a while now, I really miss Jackson. I miss the way he made me feel and all the fun things we did together while I was with him.

Our first kiss on the Ferris wheel and all that time at the fair. When we would go out after we would work on the project and he would make me laugh so much my face would get stuck in a smile.

He made me so happy in such little time and I felt so free when I was with him. He never made me feel broken and alone, he made me a whole different person and I loved that person.

I loved feeling that way and I loved loving someone.

Wait- no, I-I-I didn't mean that. Why did I even think that, you can't love someone in a span of a month, you just can't. And I can't love someone who doesn't love me back and why would I be ignoring him if I was in love with him.

He barely knows me and I barely know him, well I actually do know everything about him and I love everything about him.

I mean like, I meant like, not love.

I need to stop doing this.

I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't love him.

I can't love him when I've only been with him for so little time, not been with him, around him.

It's not a big deal, it was just a error in my thinking, that can totally happen.

Okay just stop stressing over this, calm down. Just pretend this little conversation in my head never happened.

My stupid thoughts in my head and the pouring down rain outside made me restless, well I'm always restless.

I loved storms, specially during sunset because then you would just see those purple clouds and the pink sky and the orange streaks of lightening. The thunder would shake the whole house and I've always found that cool.

I would stare out the window for hours trying to see the lighting strike down and it mesmerized me. The pounding rain was relaxing to listen to, if you weren't trying to sleep and the whole day would just feel so settling and peaceful.

The storms have just started to pick up recently and that took up a lot of my time to be honest. I felt relaxed walking through my house now, I knew my uncle couldn't hurt me anymore and I feel like I'm able to do anything.

I'm still paranoid though and I often forget I'm allowed to leave my room making as much noise as I feel like. I don't have to walk around terrified anymore.

"Ahhhhhh!" I threw a plate in the air and it shattered behind me but my eyes were wide as I watched the shadow in the darkness.

Who is in my house?