Thoughts #1

The Time It Takes To Decide

If deciding is this hard then maybe the decision isn't even worth deciding. He's been there for me through everything. From the time we met at 5 doing photo shoots together, til the..the kiss scene.. He's basically my best friend. And her... I barely know her. I didn't even know her until the stupid project. The kiss...wasn't even real was it?.. Oh fuck me.. If I choose him, she's going to be hurt and probably hate me. If I choose her I'm going to lose my best friend.. The time it takes to decide is going to be the death of me.. 
Aryse is sitting on his floor tears going down his cheeks. Taking in the words Hayden told him last night, his feelings for Lyra getting in the way..
~~~
"Okay do you still need to figure out who this love letter is from." Addy says looking up from a Teen Style magazine. "I think it's this handsome human." Addy turns the magazine around so Lyra can see it. Lyra rolls her eyes.
"I've already said it can't be Aryse! He's.. he's.."
"In love with you!" Addy yells.
"I was going to say too good for me.." Lyra sighs. Not knowing if Aryse really likes her has been bothering her a lot lately. And not being able to confront him about why he's been acting so strange is way harder than she thought it would be. So if he can't come to her and explain how he feels then why should she go him?
"Hello! Earth to Lyra!!" Addy waves her hand in front of Lyra's face.
"Oh.. heh I was just uh.. thinking about something." she replies.
"About what?"
"I told you. Something."
"Girl you've got to figure this out." Addy rolls her eyes at Lyra and they both start laughing.
~~~
"Have you decided yet? 'Cus I'm dying to know what is going on in your mind right now. You have been staring at the wall for about 30 minutes now. Aryse?? Hello?! Are you even listening to me??" Hayden jumps down Aryse's bed, startling Aryse.
"Huh? Sorry I don't feel right.." Aryse moves from his sitting position on the floor and lays down on his stomach resting his head on his hands.
"Are you okay? Is something wrong?.." Hayden moves down to lay next to Aryse.
"No I was just thinking about something." Aryse smirks.
"Oh no.. I know that look. Spill it, Aryse!" Hayden sits up suddenly.
"Remember when we were 7 and we snuck a bottle of vodka from my dads parlor?" Aryse closes his eyes and smiles. "We were sick for days and our dads just thought it was the flu."
"Haha yeah I remember that." Hayden smiles.
"And the time when we busted your dads car window from playing catch? We blamed it on the neighbors."
"Air.. where are you going with this?" Hayden turns to look at Aryse.
"Memories. They're good ones, Hay." Aryse sits up and looks Hayden in the eyes. "They're memories with the best person ever." Aryse smirks again.
Hayden blushes and turns away. Aryse pulls his face back to face him.
"Don't hide your face from me Hayden Kanter. You're too handsome to hide your face." Aryse rubs his thumb across Hayden's cheek.
"Aryse stop!" Hayden stands up and walks to the window. "What are you doing?! Don't play with me like that you know how I feel about the fake feelings. It's not real.. I - "
Aryse walks over to Hayden and grabs his face, and kisses him hard. Hayden goes with it kissing him back. Pushing his body closer to Hayden's, Aryse puts his hand on Hayden's back.
"Aryse.." Hayden whispers.
"Shh." Aryse whispers back. "Enjoy it."
Hayden pushes Aryse to the bed and they lay down Hayden on top of Aryse. Hayden pulls away for a minute and looks at Aryse.
"Can I?" Hayden asks.
"Mhm" Aryse replies and closes his eyes.
Hayden moves on top of Aryse and kisses him softly. He rubs his finger down Aryse's cheek to his neck and stops just before he reaches his collar bone. He bends down and kisses Aryse's neck. Aryse moans softly. "Yes.. Hayden.."
Hayden then lifts up Aryse's shirt over his head and takes it off. He kisses his chest softly while rubbing his finger down Aryse's stomach. Aryse smirks and flips over so he's on top of Hayden.
"Hey what are you -"
"Shh. It's my turn." Aryse smirks again and takes off Hayden's shirt. He rubs his finger down Hayden's chest and stops just before the lining of this pants. "Hm not there yet." Aryse bends down and kisses Hayden's lips and moves down along his neck, his chest. He stops and looks up at Hayden. "Is this real enough for you?"
"Ah.. yes..yes, Aryse."
They hear the front door close and someone coming up the stairs. "Aryse? Are you home?"
Aryse gets off of Hayden and throws a shirt at him. "Oh shit my dads home. Get dressed!"
They both throw on their clothes just as Aryse's dad knocks on his door. Aryse opened the door.
"Hey dad. Need something?" Aryse smiles at him.
"Oh uh no. Just checking to see if you were home. Oh hey, Hayden! Nice to see you here. Uh, so what are you two doing?" His dad looks around Aryse's room.
"Just talking about stuff, you know school stuff." Aryse replies quickly.
"Okay got ya. Well I'll be in my study if you need me. Dinner will be here soon so I'll call you when it's here." He smiles at the boys and walks out of the room. Aryse quickly closes the door behind him.
Aryse lets out a breath. "Holy shit that was close."
"Too close." Hayden agrees.
They both sit on Aryse's bed, laughing at what just happened.
  "So about my decision.." Aryse looks at Hayden. "You. I want you, Hayden Kanter." Aryse kisses Hayden again.
"What about Lyra?" Hayden asks.
"She means nothing to me." Aryse replies. He lays down on the bed and closes his eyes.
Hayden soon hears the steady sound of Aryse's breathing. He kisses his cheek and smiles. "I'm all yours, Aryse Baylor." He lays down next to Aryse and falls asleep.