Chapter 35 : The After

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The following weeks Isabelle was inconsolable

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The following weeks Isabelle was inconsolable. She refused to exit her room, she refused to eat, she refused to drink. She didn't allow anyone to enter her room. No light reflected from underneath her door at night, It was darkness. Just as how her heart felt. Lena and Aedric stood outside the room with worry, every night, helplessly knocking on her door. Hoping every time she'd let them in. No one saw her for three weeks.

Her mother and her two sisters came back to Swiok Frary. Aware of the oldest daughters situation. They assumed she'd least let her family inside, into the room to see her. But they were wrong. She has shut herself out completely. No one has seen her face, or heard her voice.

Some were worried she was dead inside, until the food Lena leaves outside her room started to disappear every time it's left out. Indicating she's alive, and she's eating.

The civilians of Swiok Frary relocated back to their original homes with the help of the Zardels. Despite things getting back to the way it used to, there still wasn't a ruler sitting on the throne. Before any word spread about, the queen mother took care of official matters in place of the queen, taking royal matters into her own hands for her daughter. The last thing she needs is the strain of the crown, the whole reason she's in this state to begin with.

Everyone she loved was back home, her best friend Cerylia, her sisters, her mother and yet she never let anyone in. Until one day the queen mother couldn't bare seeing her daughter in such a feeble helpless state, locked away in her room in utter darkness.

"You better open this door Sabbie or so help me god I'll break it down" Yelled her mother, her voice cracking with desperation. Yet, nothing.

"Take it down" she mumbled at the guards as they rammed the door with a heavy wooden log. Within a few minutes the heavy metallic chamber door swung open, broken from its lock.

A strong whiff of rotten flowers spread through the air, the room was pitch black as if it was nighttime, although it was the morning. Horror flushed through the queen mother's eyes as she walked into the room with a small lit candle.

Wooden plates stacked up on a table with left over food. Isabelle ate because she had to, not because she wanted to.

"Sabbie, my dear" the helpless words of the queen mother echoed through the walls as she saw her helpless, feeble daughter lying on her bed. Her eyes now open, watching her mother.

The queen mother couldn't believe her eyes, her oldest daughter, defeated. Dark bags drooped below her eyes, her hair tangled and knotted, similar to that of a nest. Her once red plump lips now pale and cracked.

"My dear girl I'm so so sorry" she ran and embraced her daughter, tears falling off her eyes.

Isabelle knew there was nothing anyone could've done. It was her fault they died, it was her fault Jacob never couldn't come back. She lost three of her loved ones in one single day. Nothing could have prepared her for it. And nothing could fill the emptiness she feels in her heart. The darkness surrounding it. As she watched her mother cry, helplessly cupping her face, her sisters hiding behind the frame of the door. Afraid to enter yet worried for her. She knew it's time she goes back out there. She has been selfish enough.

"You must make decisions for you"  Jacobs voice resonating in her head. Oh how she yearned to see him again. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was his smile, his brown shaded blonde beard move as he smiled for her. Strands of his blonde hair fall onto his face as he trained with his sword. How his grayish blue eyes searched for her in a room. She could feel her chest hurt every time she could hear his voice say he loved her. Was she going mad? At first she didn't mind.

If I must go mad just to hear his voice then I will, she told herself when she first locked herself in her chamber. The smell of him still stuck to her bedsheets, to his pillow. That only drove her more off the edge.

Her first love.

Cerylia, Lena, her mother and sisters all helped Isabelle get back on her feet. Three chamber maids spent hours untangling her long black hair, attempting their best to bring her hair back to it's original luscious state. They bathed her with rose water, rubbing her bare weak body with scented perfumes. They dressed her in a new gown adorned in jewels and silk. Isabelle looked just as she did the very first day she sat on the throne, all accept she felt defeated inside. But she must carry on, for her friends for her family and for her people.

She sat on the throne watching the royal court assemble to greet the queen once more. It only feels as if it was yesterday that she first sat the on the throne. The first time she met him.

Jacob Thornburgh at your service your majesty.

She could hear his voice ring inside her head. This is where she first met him, as he stood there, his hand on his holster, bowing to his new queen. Tears well up in her eyes but she gazed up hoping it'll go away.

Official court business went on as usual, everyone was surprised she managed to hold her head high up, as if nothing ever happened.

Isabelle impatiently left the throne and walked outside to the sky bridge, connecting the throne room to the chambers. She watched her soldiers, civilians go about their day peacefully. Knowing there's no perils up ahead.

"May I join you?" Came in a soft voice, interrupting her from her thoughts, something she appreciates as of late.

She met the gaze of the piecing light blue eyes she always found fascinating. It wasn't just Isabelle that changed after the events, Aedric did too. For one, he trimmed his long blonde hair. A battle scar visible above his right eyebrow, Isabelle always wondered why he was never seen with a woman, although he turns heads everywhere he goes, especially the women. He seemed oblivious to the hungry looks he receive.

The three week disappearance of Isabelle kept him the most worried, along with her mother and sisters. He would prance back and forth in front of the bedroom chamber, unsure whether to knock on the door for the umpteenth time, until the queen mother beat him to it but ramming the door open. It would've been him to do so, had he not felt as if he would make her feelings feel invalid by doing so.

"It's so good to see you back here again, in the light, looking like you always did" he hoped to break the silence between the two, he waited weeks to see her, to hear her voice. He was the first to rush to her chamber when he heard what the queen mother has done, until Lena dragged him away, not wanting him to see the state Isabelle was in.

"Thankyou" she replied softly, "I don't feel like me however"

Seeing her in that state to begin with made him wonder, made him think that it should've been him that stayed behind. If it was, she wouldn't be in this pain.

"I'm... I'm so sorry Isabelle'' his voice cracked as he desperately apologized.

"No, please don't. You did so much for me, you were the first to be there for me. It's not your fault Aedric. I should Thank you" she met his blue eyes and smiled, a smile he yearned to see.

Aedric knew there was no proper time to tell Isabelle. He knew it would break her heart more but she needed to know. He took a deep breath. "Isabelle, the burials are tomorrow"

"I know" she mumbled.

"But we couldn't find his body, we went back to the field, did an extensive search. We couldn't find his body. Isabelle I'm so sorry"
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