Fated

Ch. 18

'I am sorry for bringing this up' I said to Anum right after asking her about Zeeshan Bhai while having lunch with her the next day.

'That's okay...he must have told you that I left crying' Anum replied with discomfort in her voice. I felt bad about ruining our lunch but Zeeshan Bhai was going crazy thinking about her.

'He just wants to know if you'll forgive him...he cares about you' I couldn't help but clarify Zeeshan Bhai's intention in front of Anum. I didn't want her to think that he was a bad guy.

'I know...I am not interested in him' She broke eye contact with me and looked away. Something about the way she said that didn't seem entirely true.

'Okay...then chapter closed...just please try to forgive him' I quickly said to take the pressure off of her, she looked at me again and smiled.

'You can tell me anything you know that right?' I told her.

She nodded.

'So...how's everyone at the office?' I attempted to change the subject.

'They are doing okay...Salman asked me to thank you...he said you sent him an email with all the details about the PD day and volunteer breakfast that you were working on before you left' She informed me.

'Yeah I just thought it might be helpful' I replied.

'You should have stayed with us' She said to me.

'You know it wasn't the right place for me' I managed to say though I wanted to say a lot more.

'So any plans...what are you going to do now?' Anum inquired.

'I started applying for internships and jobs before graduation but so far I haven't gotten any response. Let's see...in the meanwhile, I think I am going to start volunteering somewhere or do tutoring from home...or maybe work with Zeeshan Bhai, taking a break for now' I told her.

'Hmm...good idea. If you are don't have any work lined up right now...do you mind helping me out with something?' She asked me.

'I am not going to work at the office' I instantly said.

'You won't have to work with him' She tried to convince me but I knew it was almost impossible to work in that office without seeing Zain.

'No thanks...I think I am good' I leaned back in my chair.

'You must really hate him' She laughed at me.

'I don't hate him...I feel weird around him, I have known him for a while but I still haven't figured him out...he is too unpredictable and that makes him unreliable...it's like when we take steps forward in the right direction, something pulls him back and he starts being rude to me and now he is coming toward me and I don't know if I can count on him ' I tried to explain to her.

'There is just a lot in his plate Maya...he suffers from anxiety' She said carefully while closely observing me. 

'I get anxious too but I am don't treat people badly like he does' I pointed out.

'It's different with him Maya... he is diagnosed with it...he takes medication for it, he experiences extreme emotions' The moment she said that my went back to that day in the office when his nose was bleeding and he was having trouble breathing. Was he having a panic attack that day?

'When did it all happen? Why didn't you tell me?' I asked her. This was a lot for me to take in. I had no idea he was suffering like that.

'No one knows that about him, expect me and our parents and now you...he doesn't want people to know. I told you this so you can understand him...I think he has feelings for you' She hesitantly said. Ramsha, Sana, Zeeshan Bhai said the same thing and now Anum.