Chasing Destiny || K.S.J x K.T.H ☑️

Let's Try

We never talked about what happened that night. It's like we had an understanding about our feelings for each other.

I heard a knock from the front door. I knew who was there as he's the only one knocking on my door every morning.

"Goodmorning!" Seokjin greeted me. He have several food containers in his arms. He went straight in the dining room and prepare the table so we can eat our breakfast.

We always eat breakfast and dinner together everyday. After the kiss that night at the lake, we made sure to spend mornings and evenings together. He's in charge of the food as he was the chef. He will prepare a separate food container for my lunch. I will bring that to work. Our relationship was just simple. But we did not put any label in to it.

"Here's for your lunch. Don't forget to eat on time okay?" He always reminded me of eating on time. It's like more of a recording as it was the same reminder everyday. But I'm not complaining. I actually love that he cares for me.

"How are you?"
"How's work?"
"Home now?"
"Can i come? dinner is ready."

That's his usual texts everyday. As much as I love receiving texts from him. As much as I love his constant reminders and thoughtful messages, it just wrenched my heart more and more. Knowing that he's not ready to put a label in our relationship, he made me so vulnerable. Without him knowing, I really thought and felt that he was just giving me false hopes. False hopes that he will stay to be with me. It's painful, I know but I refused to let go. I love him. I think that's the answer to all of my questions.

"Are you okay Tae?" I didn't realize that he was staring at me with looks of concern. "I've been talking here but you're not responding."

"I'm sorry Jin. Just lost in thoughts." I replied. I already learned how to fake a smile.

"Are you still disappointed at me?" He asked. He can't look at me in the eyes.

"No Jin. I'm not. Work is just stressful."

"Please don't lie, it just made me more like a monster to you." He looked at me with guilt in his eyes.

"Well, yes. I think I'm disappointed." I think its time to be honest. This will not be healthy if one of us was lying and just keeping everything to himself. In fairness to Seokjin, he was just being honest not just to himself, but also to me.

"Tae, I'm sorry if this are all confusing. I really do wish that I can give myself to you. But I already told you that I'm leaving. I don't want to give you false hopes that I will stay just because we put a label in our relationship." Jin reasoned out.

"Then why don't we just put a label until it's time for you to go?"

Seokjin went silent. He just stared at me.

"What are you saying Taehyung? Then after that? What will happen?" He looked desperate by the sound of his voice.

I stood up and pulled a chair. I sat beside him and held his hand tight. "Jin, I'm willing to gamble anything for your love. If we are already doing this things, you preparing my foods, you messaging me, caring for me. What's the difference if we put a label into this? We're like lovers now. What's the point of not putting a label?"

"Without a label, you're free to look for somebody else." He said that blatantly and it took me by surprise. "I don't want to make you a prisoner Tae. I want you to be free. Please don't make it hard for me and you. I love you but I can't be with you."

I put my face in my hands. Why did I need to feel this hopeless? "Jin, please? I will not ask anything in return, I promise. Just please give me a chance to show my love for you. You love me. I love you. What's wrong if we will try our love? Let's try... just until its time for you to leave."

He stared at me. Tears fell from his eyes. I don't want to make everything hard for both of us but that's what love is all about. You're willing to gamble anything for your love.