Together ~ A Carl Grimes Fanfiction

Chapter Nineteen

I wake up next to a still unconscious Rick. "Mum!" I yell upstairs. I don't get an answer. I shout for Carl next and still no answer. I take the stairs two at a time and I find a note on the bed.

Kaitlyn or Rick,

If either of you wake up while we're still gone, we're on a run for supplies and leading all walkers away from the house. Stay quiet and stay safe inside. We've taken some of your weapons and we'll be back later.

Anne and Carl x

So I just have to stay put. I go into the other room and pick up a book. The Secret Garden. I've read it before but I read it again. I can't concentrate, so I go downstairs and sit by Rick. I wonder what they'll find. I go into the kitchen and poke around. There are two granola bars left on the table; one for Rick and one for me. I eat one and I sharpen what knives I have, then I check the drawers and cupboards for any other weapons. I find some butter knives and forks. They could be useful.You can never have too many weapons, I think to myself.

I hear footsteps from upstairs. I get ready for anyone to come down stairs and I hide behind the door. They walk towards the front room first. Oh no, I think to myself, Rick. There are murmurs but I can't make out what's being said. Someone comes towards the kitchen. I brace myself. The door opens and I am ready to get whoever it is. "Whoa! It's me! Calm down!" It's Carl. I drop my knife, and breathe out a sigh of relief. I really wasn't in the mood to fight today. I throw my arms around Carl's neck then wince as I remember my arm. "Thank God! Ow! Is my mum okay?" I say, letting him go.

"Yeah, she's fine. We got attacked, but we took care of it. C'mon," he says taking my hand. We walk into the front room. Rick's still out cold. My mum puts her arms around me and she sobs quietly into my neck.

We sit and they tell me what supplies they got. Quite a lot of food and some more matches. They even got some soda. My mother doesn't want to eat, and she's very weak so I help her upstairs to a bed. She says sorry over and over again. I tell her it's fine but she won't accept me, accepting her apologies. "No. You and your sister were my responsibility, and I let you down. It's all my fault," she says, the tears flowing uncontrollably. I sit with her, both of us, crying. Eventually she falls asleep and I walk down to the front room and I hear Carl yelling.

"... You couldn't protect Hershel, or Michonne or... Mom. Or Sammy." he says. I flinch at her name. "You couldn't protect Judith. I'd be just fine without you. I could shoot you now and nobody would care."

I enter the room. "I would. I don't want you to be that person. Please," I say. And he stops. I put my arms around him and he cries. We sit on the floor, and we both cry. He's the only one who knows what I'm going through right now. I get Sammy's doll and I clean it. I keep scrubbing, until my hands are sore and they bleed. The pain I feel is unbearable.

It should be me. She was the innocent one, I should be in her place. I fall asleep with that thought in my head.