scott x hope oneshots

civil war as told by luis

not really a scott x hope fic but was too funny to leave out

Hope: Do we have to? Why can't Scott tell the story?

Dave: Yea Man. Scott's the hero of the story afterall.

(Scott tries to interject)

Luis: But Scotty, you promised me, dawg! I never get to be the main man of the story. Lemme tell your story, bro.

Scott: (sighs) Okay, Luis man, don't make me regret this. Go.

Luis: (grins) You're da man Scotty!

Kurt: Oh boy. Here we go.

Hope: (mutters) If only I wasn't sick in bed...

Luis: Okay, so you know all this Civil War nasty business all went down all nasty and it started with that metal arm guy, Bucky, who was like Cap's best bud back in da World War Two, but then Bucky fell from that train man, that lead Cap to believe that he died. But, then, turns out he didn't and dude got all brainwashed and stuff. He even got his arm replaced with this crazy metal arm man! Dude that's just both nasty and dope by the way.

Scott: Luis...

Luis: Yo chill, I'm getting there man. So anyway, Bucky went full on loco and killed whatever the Super Secret Evil Octopus Organisation ordered. But then, a whole ton of years later Cap and Bucky meet face to face. Cap's like 'Yo Bucky, remember me man? We were best buds.' and Bucky's like 'Who da hell are you man?' But then, Bucky starts to remember stuff cause he can't let go of his buddy like that, am I right? Same goes for our main man here, cause best buds gotta stick together -

Hope: (mumbles) If I weren't this sick in bed, I would've punched the living daylights out of him. Maybe I still could...

(Scott hears Hope and shoots her a don't-you-dare look)

(Hope glares back at Scott)

Dave: (whispers to Kurt, signalling him towards Scott and Hope) Uh-oh.

Kurt: (leans in to whisper back to Dave) I zink Civil War is about to go down here too.

Luis: (oblivious to everything else going on, continues) - Right after that, when those planes were fallin from da sky, Bucky saved his bro from drownin in those deep waters. Dude's all like 'Yo man, I still don't get why I save yo ass but I still feel tat bro connection, you know what I'm sayin? Dude listen, even if I can't fully remember you now, I'm a wanted by the popo, so Imma gonna go into hidin. See you around later man.'

Dave: I wasn't there but I'm pretty sure that's not what they said...

Scott: Nope...Not at all

Kurt: Andddd we haven't even reached the main story yet

Hope: (Rolls eyes) Just get on with the story Luis...

Luis: Right right, so our man Bucky here, in da flashback of 1991, back when he was still not right in 'is head, slam! into this sweet classic of a ride and dude did a smash 'n grab on that super secret serum that could make you just like Captain America!

So so, coming back to the present day, after that evil robot Ultron and his army failed to take over the world, Cap, that Hot Black Leather Redhead Chick, Bird Man, whom my buddy Scott totally kicked his ass the last time they met, -

(Scott grins and high-fives Luis; Hope nods approvingly)

Luis: Yea! That's what I'm talking about man! - and Scary but still crazy stupid fine Witch are on this mission from stopping this Guy in a Hockey Mask, who used to pretend to be one of the good guys but in fact, he was working uncover for them Super Secret Evil Octopus Organisation, from stealing this dangerous weapon. But when Cap got Hockey Mask Guy cornered,