Instagram drama

"If you hear pain, open the door" 65

its not everyday you get letters from your friends saying how much they love and miss me, and how sorry they are. i mean i only opened one, which made me cry my heart out, it was probably a mistake to open johnny's first but that's the only one i really wanted to read.

me and him haven't spoken since i told him to leave me alone and not to talk to me anymore, which by the way some part of me regrets it. i wish i didn't say any of those things, he would be here right now telling me how its going to be okay, how we are going to get through this.

but he isn't here, and he probably wont come, i have to get through this by myself. it isn't going to be easy, and i know that but one thing i promised myself is that i wont give up and i will go through this without crying.

specially since there's still school.

i could take a day off, and just stay home and look weak for other people, but i don't want that specially not for him, he'll see how weak i am because of him and use it against me. i just hope the police well find him and arrest him, even if hes my father. a father i didn't want nor asked for, i just wish he was the dad i always wanted, i had no memories with him as a child since he left us by ourselves when i was at the age of three for some bimbo.

"today is going to be good, ill be fine. act fine, no one well say anything." i recall myself as i get out the car door, staring at my big school that i've been hating for a while now. everyone came back from the trip two days ago, now school is back for me. no students know what happend other than teachers and my ex friends.

"be careful, if you get too tired please tell me okay?" i completely forgot Maddie was here, i turn around and forced a smile as i look through the window, she returns it but it was more sympathetic. i tried not to yell at her don't petty me, i hate it.

How come it's only me? Don't get me wrong I don't want my sister to get hurt, but how come she's okay, how come it's just me he wants to hurt? Before I can even think about it any further I shake my head waving at maddie.

"bye", i walk away from the car and towards the school entrance, students were running around and pushing others out the way trying to get to class. some smiles were sent to me and all i had to do was return it, but forced.

god when can i have a proper smile?

"k-kenzie?" i freeze at the voice, slowly turning around. the hallway was empty now, i don't even know how when there was a mess only few seconds ago. i stare back at the green eyes that i have always loved, oh my god them green eyes that made me fall in love with him. "what are you doing here? shouldn't you be resting at home? god i miss you so much, why? why did you leave me?".

i've never seen him speak like that, it was almost scary how quick and meaningful his words are. i knew i would have to face him at some point but i didn't know it would be this quick. like ive only been here 10 minutes, what ive im here longer whats going to happen? looking at him i forgot words--English itself. "h-hi?".

your supposed to be strong, not weak act careless.

"what do you want?" i cant help but ask that, like why is he even talking to me? he really has some guts, i stare at him intensly i promised myself ill get better, by faking being better i guess, it can make me happy even though im not right now. but its all about them progresses.

he opens and closes his mouth like a fish trying to find water, he doesn't even know why hes talking to me. why am i still standing here? im late already before he can say anything, i roll my eyes "since you dont have anything to say, you can move out my way so i can get to class, im already late thanks to you".

he stares at me eyes wide, you didnt expect that?yeah, me too. but its all about acting fine,and do to that you have to acct badass. by hurting people who were once something to you, and probably still are something.