Scattered Leaves

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Mileven-Oneshot

I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you

And it hurts like hell

Yeah it hurts like hell



One Month Before

"Hey, I'm able to come back for fall break. We'll be able to finally spend some time together and relax." Happiness laced into her words.


"Ohh ok. Well... I picked up some extra shifts that week, but I'm glad you're coming back. I have to get going Holly asked me to help her with a science project."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. I hope you have fun and tell her I miss her. I love you Mike."

"Talk to you later El."

Shame reddened his cheeks. Queasiness erupted in his stomach from the thought El being upset by him. Holly waited for him in the kitchen.

Her arms were crossed over her chest, that was constricted with contempt. Her back slid down the wall as her head collapsed in her hands. The silence of the room witnessed her river of tears that night.

Present Day

The front door creaked in response of being opened. She looked gorgeous as always, but the hope he carried diminished. The warmth from his body was the embodiment of home. The ache for his lips was unreal, but she pushed it into the background.

A gap was wedged between their bodies, they seemed to be stuck in place. The blank wall had captured their attention long ago

"You wanted to talk?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, I do," he quickly answered.

She shifted her position to get a better look at him. His features came into better focus. She honed in on his nervous mannerisms he exhibited. Her attention diverted to her chipped nails.

"It's been on my mind lately..."

Silence rapidly filled the air between them. He's suddenly up on his feet pacing back and forth. Dread embeds itself into her veins, flowing freely because of him.

"I've been thinking about it for sometime but time has just gone on. I want to be honest and I... It's just that I..."

His words fumbled over each other. Silence once again invaded the air.

She was up on her feet too. Her hands were placed on his shoulders locking him into place

She cleared her voice once her first attempt at speaking failed.

"I already know Mike. You don't love me. It's not the same for you anymore," she spoke quietly.

"El I..."

"It's okay Mike. You did nothing wrong. I can't hold that against you."

El rested her right hand on his cheek gently rubbing her thumb back and forth across his stumble. She looked into his brown eyes for the first time in awhile. The confirmation crystallized her breath. She breathed in jagged icicles, they lodged nicely in her heart. Her hand fell to her side.

"Things just seem to never last for me," she said with a sigh.

A defeated smile was placed upon her lips. Nothing can ever last for her. Whatever it may be before too long it ends up hurting her again and again.

"I'm sorry El."

He's earnest in his words so clear spoken the icicles plunged increasingly deeper. Blood is drawn but no one can see it. No one feels her pain as it trickles down her beating heart.

"Don't be sorry Mike. I'm okay, you're okay that's all I could ever hope for."

She straightens her smile a little more tilting her head in a reassuring nod. She gathered her coat by the door resting it in her forearm. The backdoor light illuminated the dark allowing her safe passage to the car.

She backed out of the driveway with her smile still intact. Seconds fly by as the glue suddenly falls away and she's left with her crumbling frame. Her now sunken eyes are quick to produce tears that had been there all along. She doesn't even make it all the way down the street before parking in front of a random house.

Her body sinks into itself while she shakes from the sobs that echo so clearly in her car. Her fists pummel into the steering wheel repeatedly until she can't feel them. Her breaths are ragged combined with the oncoming bitterness from her tears.

"What did I do! What's wrong with me!" she screams at the dashboard.

"Why?" escapes her lips.

No one is there to answer her question. Leaves are scattered by the wind so they scrape against her windshield.

"Why can't I find happiness? I almost had it," her defeated words float in the air, strikingly confined in the space.

Her head rests against the beaten steering wheel, while rain begins to trickle from the night sky.


-After more than a month of not posting here I am!

-I have some news... I made an Instagram account called thehawkinspost_1985

-On the first post I explained what the account is all about if you're wondering

-I would love if you guys decided to go check it out as I can be more interactive with you guys

-Story suggestions are welcome

-Song: Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie

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