Fate | 정 전국

{Five}

{Chapter Five}

I hear birds chirping. Is it already morning? I don't remember sleeping. I open my eyes and Jungkook's face is right there. He's so close. I look down at his lips. I look away. His arms are wrapped around my waist tightly. Maybe he just thinks I'm his girlfriend or something.

That 'business week' he was talking about was probably just a week at a hotel with LuHan. Maybe that whole three month business trip was the two of them. Why am I just realizing this now?

I gently pick up Jungkook's arm and slide it over to his side. I get up and look around. How did I fall asleep with him? Empty cans of beer lay around the floor and table. Each one of them empty. I close my eyes tightly to try and remember what happened last night. We didn't do anything did we? God I hope not.

"YooNi..." My eyes widen. Jungkook's arm is lifted up. I tiptoe towards him.

"Yes?"

"Can you get me..." His arm falls down, "a glass of water?"

I get up and walk to the kitchen. I grab a glass and I slip the glass under the slot in the fridge and press the button.

When the glass is full I walk carefully towards him and I hand it to him. Jungkook smiles at me before sipping the water.

I go into my room and take a shower. I keep myself quiet when I silently sob. It still hurts a lot. I get out and I dress myself. I pack my backpack again. "Where are you going?" Jungkook asks.

"I'm going to the cafe nearby and get some bubble milk."

"You like that?"

I make a obvious face at him. "I love it. My ex didn't like it so we never went to get some but I can have as much as I want now."

He's silent for a second. "Can I come?" I smile because for some reason that's what I hoped he would ask.

"We should stop by your house if you want to stay a week right?"

He nods and we exit my house. "My house really close to the moon outlet. You know about that?"

"Are you saying we're getting bubble milk in the lunar cafe?"

"Ne, do you no-"

"I love that place!" He jumps, scaring me. I chuckle. So he's a sucker for bubble milk. I smile at him. Still not genuine. I hope he didn't notice. We walk on with comfortable silence.

-

I'm laughing. I'm finally laughing after a few days of deep sorrow. I can't say I'm completely happy again. I calm down and I see Jungkook just staring at me smiling.

"Do I have something on my face?"

He shakes his head and smiles. He leans forward and looks at me in the eye before saying, "Whenever you want to give up on life or live in sorrow forever, just remember that there will be happiness in the end."

I stare at him. I feel numb but he wipes a stray tear. I sniffle before sipping my drink, avoiding eye contact. "You wanna know what happened?"

Jungkook smiles. "Let it out."

I rest my elbows on the table. "He cheated on me. With his co-worker." I sniffle and wipe another tear, "I knew that something was up. I felt that lately he was treating me like nothing but a maid." I cover my face with my hands and softly weep. I feel closer to my meltdown.

But just like that, everything goes black.

-

I feel something wet and warm sticking onto my forehead. It's gently taken off. I hear squishy noise and again I feel that same warm and wet feelings. My eyes open. I'm not in the cafe. I look around. It's my bedroom. I look to my right and he's there, twisting the rag so all the water comes out.

He looks so focused, so concentrated. Jungkook looks up and his face is beaming with surprise. "You're awake."

"Of course I am. I can't die yet can I?" I smirk. He chuckled before grabbing the glass of water on my nightstand.

"Here, drink." I sip and he sits back down, "You passed out in the cafe. And I think it's safe to say that it's my second time carrying someone either drunk or unconscious." He chuckles.

I smile. I remember now. All the stress built up and I guess I had another meltdown. "Don't smile at a time like this. You have a fever you silly."

I laugh loud and he follows with a chuckle again. "What do you want to eat?" Weird, I don't think that LuHan has ever asked me what I wanted to eat.

"Do you know how to make ddeokbokki?"

He smiles, "My mother used to make me it all the time. Here," He hands me the warm rag to place on my head, "I'll cook it and you relax here arasseo?" I laugh before nodding. He sounds just like a mom in general.

Jungkook leaves and I just lay there. I'm not entirely sure where my phone is so I can't possibly check it. I just stare at the ceiling. These past few days have been nothing but blue and and gray. I don't know how I'm still alive but I am. I wonder how he is doing. I suddenly laugh at myself. Why do I still care?

I guess it isn't that easy to move on is it? "It isn't really." A voice cuts my thoughts. My eyes move to the door. Jungkook stands at the doorway, staring at me with a sad smile.

"Is the ddeokbokki ready?" I ask with anticipation, I'm not sure if it's was my sickness but I'm starving.

"Ani, I'm leaving it to heat up a little bit. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

If LuHan was here, he would just tell me to rest and take care of myself. If I was supposed to live like an independent woman than how would have we clicked?

I get it now. We didn't "click" so to say. We did have mutual feelings but it wasn't strong enough. They say to marry someone you can annoy for the rest of your life. That was not our relationship. We were quiet. I rushed to much. He was to hesitant. I should've known. It was both our faults. I tried to force him into our deep pit of love and happiness but it seemed like I was pushing him miles and we weren't getting any closer.

I'm already sobbing with these thoughts. Jungkook strokes my hair in understanding. "I-I'm sorry t-that I c-c-can't go twenty m-minute-s-s w-without c-crying-ng." I manage to say between my fingers and hiccups.

"It's so sad to see someone who cries their pain out only to apologize about it. It only means that someone in their life has told them to stop crying, only causing insecurity."

That could not have been any more true. LuHan would tell me to stop crying. He says it's childish. Every time I cried he would just pat my back and walk away.

"Remember YooNi. Pain is part of growing up."

Only sobs are heard as a response. I want to tell Jungkook. I should, but I can't. I have to, but I don't know how to. Either way he's going to leave this house upset, and I don't know if it would be towards me, or his girlfriend. Both are equally painful to acknowledge.

{End of Chapter Five}