I've Seen 2

The House That Love Built

Before Tim could even get their door shut, Kalene was on him. He chuckled as she tugged him towards the bed figuring he knew what she was after. It had been a very emotional evening for all involved. She slipped out of her shoes then pulled him to her. He cupped her face in his hands as he toed out of his boots then covered her mouth with his. As he was trying to deepen their kiss, thinking he knew what she wanted, she pulled away.

He watched as she sat down on the bed then scooted to lay down. Beckoning him with her finger made his lips upturn before he began crawling up the bed, eyes boring into hers. When he was close enough, she grabbed him by the arms and pulled him up to her. He crashed his lips to hers once more but she, again, refused to let him take things further.

"Is something wrong?" He looked into her eyes.

"No. I want to talk." She looked down.

A lump formed in his throat. His heart began to beat faster and he was sure his body was trembling some.

"Uh. Ok." He was happy his voice didn't crack.

"Are you sure you want to marry me? I have a kid. I'm...I have nothing to bring to this. No place to live. Nothing of my own, really, except my truck. I don't have any real talent..." Kalene couldn't look him in the eye, "I understand your last wife was quite talented."

"Kalene, if I didn't want to marry you, I wouldn't have asked you tonight. Genesis is nearly grown. Besides, with her on tour with her own band and us on tour, we hardly see her! (He laughed making her smile) You are talented. Jenika might have been a good tour manager, but you are amazing at it. I don't think any of us have ever seen someone with the types of managerial skills you have.

Listen to me. I'm going to tell you some things I haven't told anyone else before. (He moved her chin so she was looking straight into his eyes) When Jenika and I split, I was devasted. I fell head over heels for her. Or so I thought. She had me wrapped around her finger the whole time we were together. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for her. I just didn't know it or see it.

The closer it came for our divorce hearings, the more depressed I became. Once our divorce was final, I was really, really depressed. Adam and Rob were still very happily married. Austin and Chance were in committed, long-term relationships. Everyone was happy but me. It was depressing and I guess I was feeling a little bit of envy towards them. Why was I divorced and their relationships were still so strong?

Hell, I didn't even know where I was going to live because she got the house. I hated the idea of moving back in with mom. Especially at my age. (She giggled some) All my stuff was put in storage until I could find a new place to live. I was getting angry. I was bitter. For a long while I truly believed Jenika had ruined my belief in love and happy endings. She made me begin to despise it, honestly. Especially when I had to see Chance and Austin with their ladies.

It was painful. The happy smiles, the sweet kisses, the cuddling. I wanted to hit them. The guys, not the ladies. I wanted to scream at them and take all my anger and frustration out on them for flaunting what I had and then lost in my face. I was really, really, really depressed. Then the next time we had a big show in Nederland, I go home and find this strange woman and her daughter my momma had never once told me about living with my mom. I fought it hard. The attraction. We already talked about the jealousy I felt.

You made me feel things I didn't want to feel again. I was sure I'd just get hurt again and after the painful divorce, I didn't want that. No matter what I did, thoughts of you just plagued my mind. Hearing your laughter. Seeing that smile. How you always look after everyone. That feisty personality. You give as good as you get. You're one of the strongest women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I fought this for a long while because I wasn't sure I wanted to be married again. 'Oh, she's my second wife.' sounds so...it makes me feel bad. Like I wasn't man enough to take care of things or keep my first wife happy or something.