Chapter One

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WARNING: Some depressing thoughts

Katsuki's POV:

I woke up to my alarm screaming at me to wake up for school. I always hated that place, but you know how it is. The law forces us to go to a place that drains your sanity and happiness.

Ugghh why do I sound so dramatic? Anyway, I turn off the damn thing and make my way to the bathroom across the hall quietly so I don't wake up Mother. As I walk in, I try to avoid my reflection as much as possible before I have to brush my teeth.

After I wash my hands, I force myself to look up and see the person I hate the most. Me. The bags under my eyes have gotten darker. They almost look as bad as that purple haired guy's bags from general studies.

When I look into the mirror, I see all the flaws I have. My hair is too spiky and weird, my eyes are red as if to say I was meant to be a villain, my face is getting pale, and I look like I haven't slept in weeks, my face looks thinner too. The list can go on and on.

I force myself to look away and I angrily grab my toothbrush before puting toothpaste on it. I hate that I hate myself, why can't I just be happy with the way I am? Does everyone think I'm as bad as I think I am?

I continue brushing my teeth until I am satisfied with how clean my teeth feels, and then I move on to cleaning my tongue. Once I'm done with that, I wash my face and start putting on some make-up. Just enough to cover the bags under my eyes.

When I finish adding the final touches, I look at myself, really look at myself, and start practicing my angry and cocky face. I sigh loudly. It's been harder to fake my confidence ever since the training camp incident this past summer. I can't believe I wasn't strong enough to fight them off.

I was such a huge burden on everyone and All Might was exposed. He was forced to retire because of me. Me. The screw up. I start tearing up, but I quickly blink away the tears so that the light coat of foundation I have around my eyes doesn't come off.

I snap out of my thoughts and carefully open the restroom door to walk back to my room. As soon as I walk in, I notice the time and realize I only have 20 minutes until class starts. Great.

I rush to put on my UA uniform and check in the mirror to see if my make-up is noticeable. It's not. Phew. I fix up my uniform a bit and quickly glance at the time. 10 minutes to get to school.

I grab my school bag and walk carefully downstairs so that no one wakes up. I don't grab breakfast, I don't need it anyway. I grab my key from the counter and leave the house.

I start running to the school which is only a few blocks from my house. Running helps me lose the weight, so it's a win-win situation. I compose myself when I get closer to the school and put on my angry face.

I really don't feel like putting up with anyone today. I guess luck is on my side today since no one looked at me when I walked into class. Kirishima was arguing with Kaminari about some dumb blue and black dress that he saw online.

That idiot, it's clearly white and gold. Forgetting that, I sit down behind Izuku. I don't really hate him anymore. I don't think I ever did, but I started to be less mean to him when I realized how much of an ass I was being. I can't believe that I was ever that big of a jerk. I still put up the act though since everyone is already used to it.

If I suddenly started being full-on nice, everyone would freak out and ask me what was up. I don't want the attention right now. I take out my phone and put on some music. Before I can put play, Izuku notices me and smiles.

"Hi Kacchan." Okay, just be your mean old self. "Tch what do you want nerd", I ask. He looks at me and says, "I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with me and Todoroki tomorrow after school." I'm surprised, but I don't show it. I look back up at him, hmm I'll have to ask mother, but if I tell her that it would make me seem normal, she'd definitely have to let me go. I answer with "That damn IcyHot, whatever, sure."

He looks at me like he was expecting me to completely reject his offer. The look of surprise on his face is quickly wiped away with a look of excitement. "Really Kacchan? This will be so much fun, we'll meet outside the school when class is over and head to my house."

"Tch whatever, is this a sleepover or just a hangout?" I hope that this is only a hang out because I don't want to sleep at someone else's house. What if I get a panic attack? What if I have a nightmare? Will I want to cut?

I might have zoned out because the next thing I know, Izuku is waving his hand in front of my face and asking if I'm alright. I glare at him angrily and yell. "Get your dumb hands away from my face Deku!" He just responds by nervously laughing while scratching the back of his head and saying, "Haha sorry Kacchan, I just noticed you blanked out for a minute. I was just saying that it is a sleepover."

I mentally groaned and was about to yell something when Mr. Aizawa walked into the classroom with that yellow cocoon thing he sleeps in. Izuku walked back to his desk and I sighed thankfully. I didn't have to yell for at least another 2 hours.

Mr. Aizawa started his lesson and I stared out the window just watching the gray clouds slowly appear. I love rain. It's the best. I slowly drift off and start thinking about everything.

***
Word Count: 1,062
AHHHH that was the first chapter. I will post the second one tomorrow. I know no one will come across this fanfic for a while, but if you would like the chapters longer or shorter, let me know as soon as you can. I also want to know what you think about this chapter. Any tips about the paragraphs, grammar, details, etc?? I would love to know.

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