Why Me? (TodoBaku)

Chapter Twenty

Katsuki's POV:

I'm lying in bed at home. We move into the dorms this week and next week is Thanksgiving. Shoto and I's first date was around two weeks ago. Next, we're going to the carnival he told me about a while ago. I can't wait. It's on Friday and it's barely Tuesday. I'm in bed, sore from the beatings I got. Mother beat me pretty badly last night again, but I was able to get up and shower when she was done.

I sigh and look at my phone and see a few messages from Shoto. He's been helping me build my confidence little by little, but I still hate myself so much. I can't understand how he's even interested in me. I'm disgusting. Even Mother knows I'm disgusting. I start crying as I think of how much better it would be if I was just gone. Mother wouldn't have to look at me all the time. She wouldn't have to think about other people finding out that she doesn't feed me or anything like that.

In class, no one would have to deal with my loud yelling anymore. It would be so much quieter and people wouldn't get insulted all the time. Shoto wouldn't have to hang out with me. I still wonder if he only hangs out with me because he felt bad for me. I sigh heavily and get up to go to the bathroom. My body is in pain from all the bruises Mother made yesterday.

It's almost seven. I woke up at around 5 because I couldn't sleep, but I didn't feel like getting up. I just needed a while to get myself up because I dreaded leaving my bed. In bed, I'm comfortable and safe-ish. I can sleep there. I wouldn't have to face people and I could avoid the League of Villains.

I'm in the restroom with the door locked. I'm gripping the sink as I think about when they took me. It's usually the reason for why I can't sleep. Just thinking about how weak I was and I couldn't move. How I could still feel everything, but wasn't able to do anything. I was just laying there on the floor. Helpless. I remember the pain throughout my body. Feeling as though it would never stop.

I fall to the floor thinking about it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. That's all I can think as I pull my knees close to my chest. I have to stop thinking about it. I can't. It's so vivid in my mind. I can still hear his breathing as he's on top of me. His weight crushing me as I just silently cry hoping I would die right then. Just wishing something would happen so that it would end. Anything.

I can feel my breathing quicken and I start freaking out. What if he's here? What if he knows where I live? Will he take me again? Will he do those things to me again? Will anyone save me? Would anyone care? I'm gasping and gripping at the wall to try and catch my breath. I feel everything around me get smaller. I'm struggling to breathe and I feel like I'm going to pass out. The room starts spinning and the last thing I remember is reaching for the sink before everything turned black.

~~~~~~

I wake up on the floor. I get up quickly, wincing when I feel the bruises on my body. I quickly but quietly run out of the bathroom to check the time. Oh no it's 8:24. I run back to the restroom to brush my teeth and do my business. As I'm brushing my teeth, I notice how much worse the bags under my eyes have gotten. I quickly apply the under eye make-up. I make sure that it looks okay and then run to my room to change quickly. I grab my back pack, phone, and earbuds before quietly running downstairs.

I close the door behind me carefully and run to the school. As I'm running, I check the time and see that it's 8:52. Fuck I have to run faster. I start sprinting. If Mother finds out I'm late, I'm so going to get punished. Maybe she'll make me sleep on the floor. Maybe she'll add more things to the list of stuff I have to do. Maybe she'll start finding more ways to hurt me. I'm on the school property now and I'm almost at the doors. I run in and navigate my way to class. I see the door and I pull it open.

When I step in, trying to catch my breath, everyone stares at me. I'm looking at the ground, breathing hard. I'm sure I look scared as hell, but when I look up I put on my 'fuck off' face. "Tch what are you looking at!?" Everyone just looks away and goes back to what they were doing. As I make my way to my seat, the bell rings. What the fuck that was so close. When I sit down, I hear the door open. Mr. Aizawa walks in and starts talking about fighting techniques. "Okay so we'll do training about that on Friday, so be prepared."