Why Me? (TodoBaku)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Katsuki's POV:

I fell asleep sometime while crying. I wake up in Shoto's arms still. He's awake and he's still rocking me. It's dark out now and I wonder how long he's been doing this. Everything just hits me. I broke down in the elevator and like half the class saw. They saw me crying on the floor of the elevator.

I remember and I let out a chocked sob. I feel Shoto jump up. He hadn't realized that I woke up. "Sh sh sh," he whispers to me. I hug him tight and put my face into his chest. We were still in our uniforms and shoes. I continue crying. My sobs are loud and annoying. I can't seem to stop myself though. What will people say when they see me again? Are they already making fun of me? Do they even like me? "Katsuki, you need to calm down. Breathe. Just breathe," he says worriedly. I nod as I try to stop crying. I take a deep breath but it just sounds high pitched and labored.

Shoto gasps and sits me up. "Okay um here, put your head on my chest okay? Listen to my heartbeat," he says as he puts my head sideways on his chest. He takes a deep breath and lets it out. "Okay follow my breathing. Just go in," he breathes in. "Now breathe out," he breathes out. I have a hard time at first, but I slowly get into his rhythm. My breathing is normal now and I'm just letting out silent tears. I hear Shoto sniffle and I look up at him.

His eyes are red and he picks his hands up to cover his face as he cries. He sobs and then after about a second, he stops. He takes a deep breath and looks at me like nothing happened. "I'm sorry. I made you cry," I say. "Katsuki, right now I'm worried about you. Don't think about me right now," he says softly as he pets my hair. "Not everything has to be about me. I carry about you. I'm sorry I haven't been the best boyfriend. You deserve better," I tell him. "Katsuki. You are the best. No one. Absolutely no one can make me feel the way you do. Stop telling me that you're sorry because you don't have to be. There's no reason for you to be sorry. I'm here because I want to be. That's it, I'm not leaving. Even if you don't want me around, I'm going to be here," he tells me.

Tears are streaming down his face and I hug him. "I don't want you to go, so thank you. I just can't stop crying. I hate myself. I hate myself so much and I'm glad you don't hate me. I have no idea what I did to make you fall in love with me, but I'm glad I did it. I don't know why I can't stop fucking crying. I'm getting so mad because I've been crying and crying. That's all I've been doing. I hate seeing you cry. I don't want to see you cry ever again," I tell Shoto. I get up and out of his arms. He looks at me with his tear-filled eyes. "Lets go somewhere and do something. I don't want to stay here crying the whole time. Wait, what time is it?"

He shrugs and grabs his phone. He turns it on and his eyes widen. "It's 3:43 am," he tells me. "You rocked me back and forth without going to sleep for like 6 hours," I tell him completely shocked. He just shrugs. "It didn't feel like that long. I thought it was for about an hour. "Well what can we do? I have to take my mind of the dumb pills because I've been feeling like shit ever since the therapist said I was going to take them," I say. "Let's go make something to eat. Maybe a cake or brownies," he tells me. I nod at his idea and take his hand. As we walk to the elevator, I say, "I don't like the fact that I made you cry. I know you don't want me to say it anymore, but I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you cry. I hate that you feel bad. I don't want that for you."

He sighs as the elevator doors close. "And that's how I feel about you. I hate that you feel sad or bad all the time. I don't want that for you either. Don't worry about me though, I'm okay. I really am, I just hated seeing you like that and it got to me," he says. I nod and say, "Thank you for everything. Now lets go not be sad." He laughs a bit and smiles at me. We walk out and go to the kitchen. The lights are off so I turn them on. Shoto takes out his phone to get the directions to make something homemade. "What are we going to make?" He thinks about it for a second and then excitedly says, "How about a chocolate cake. I really feel like eating chocolate."