Why Me? (TodoBaku)

Chapter Thirty-Four

Katsuki's POV:

The bell for lunch rings and I wait for everyone to leave. Mr. Aizawa looks at me and I go up to him with the now melted ice pack on my hand. "What happened to your hand?" I look at the floor and say, "Well, um, I punched the sink in the morning." He sighs sadly. "Why would you do that?" I still don't make eye contact and say, "I forgot to lock the restroom door and Shinso saw my scars. I got mad at myself because I didn't lock the door so I just threw a random punch."

He grabs my shoulder and says, "I'm sorry he saw them, but you shouldn't be hiding them. It happened to you and you can't change that. Go get more ice and enjoy your lunch." I nod and leave to go to mine and Shoto's meeting place. When I walk in, Shoto already has the food out. Usually we make food together now, but since I stayed at Mr. Aizawa's, we didn't have time to. "Oo looks good," I say. He smiles. I go over to him and he grabs my right hand. I wince a bit but then sigh in relief when he uses his ice quirk as an ice pack. "Mm that feels good. My hand really hurts," I say. He smiles and gives me a quick peck on the lips. He takes the Ziploc and refreezes it for me.

We start eating as he still holds my hand to cool it. I'm supposed to be happy right now, but I can't feel it. I'm supposed to be smiling and being all lovey dovey with my boyfriend, but I can't force myself to. "I'm sorry, I just feel down right now," I say sadly. Then I take a bite of the taco he made. "Katsuki, it's okay. Well, no, it's not okay because I want you to feel normal, but you shouldn't feel bad for me. I know you're going through a hard time right now and I'm here for you. I care about you and no one can change that. I'm here for you and I just want you to get better. You shouldn't focus on anything except getting better, okay?" I nod and I feel like crying again.

I put the taco down. I'm not that hungry and I just want to cry. I think Shoto notices because he puts his taco down and then takes his hand away from mine to hug me. "I just want to sleep, I'm tired," I tell him softly. He sniffles into my shoulder and nods. "I know, we'll nap after school," he tells me. I pull away. "Why are you crying?" He shakes his head. "I just can't see how so many bad things could happen to such an amazing person. I'm just sorry Katsuki, I'm sorry that I can't help," he says sadly. He sniffles and I start crying. "No, you have helped me. You've helped me more than you could ever know. You make me feel loved, safe, protected, smart, worthy, important, normal, like I can be me. You've helped me get through breakdowns, panic attacks, you saved me from Shigaraki, you've done so much. You even bought me Twenty One Pilots tickets! That's just like icing on the cake. I love you and knowing that you love me helps me more than you could ever know," I tell him.

We hug as we both cry. "I love you too Katsuki," he tells me. I sigh and hug him tighter. "I know and I'm so glad that you do. Also we can't hang out right after school. Shinso wanted to go to the park with me, so maybe later?" He nods and we stay there. Soon, the bell rings and we quickly pull away. "Crap let's go," I say. We both quickly finish what's left of our taco and out the rest away. We hurry to the class and Shoto quickly refreezes the water. I thank him and qive him a quick kiss and then walk in and go to my seat. He smiled a bit and went to his.

Everyone comes in and then after a while, the bell rings and Mr. Aizawa continues his lesson. I'm not really paying attention even though I should. You need to pay attention. You can't give yourself time to think about anything bad. You need to try and get better. I snap out of my thoughts when Mr. Aizawa yells my name. I jump up on surprise and he looks at me with a look. 'You better be paying attention.'

I sigh and then he starts talking about something else. "Okay so we're going to be going on a field trip next weekend. We're not telling anyone the location, but your parents still need to know that you're leaving, so I'm going to pass out some papers for them to sign. There's going to be an extra amount of pros just in case," he says. I stiffen a bit. Great. Out of all the days he could've announced this, he announced it today. Because I'm definitely not having a mental breakdown already. I see some people look at me, trying to be discreet, but I can definitely tell. I don't like that they're looking at me and it's making me even more nervous.