the celebrity and the unknown

my past

Dear diary

September 19th 2014

I think today marks the day of something that would haunt me for the rest of my life

My aunt was killed in front of me with a gun by my father's own hands and this was because she's a lesbian so she is a sinner..a dyke

I don't understand why

Why was she a sinner what did she do wrong except loving a woman. Someone who is the same gender as her but still had this punishment because god says so.

Did God really wanted this?

The blood was everywhere, the shot was loud but quick

Her life went by too quick

I think love comes with torture so what's the point?

Someone tell me what's the point in living anymore because of this

She should've had the same right as any other straight person can have but father says she needs to be in heaven and ask God for forgiveness

I hate this

May 15th  2016

I don't want to live on anymore I'm a sin, a liar and a low life

What can I do except cry and go to church everyday hoping to end this nightmare

I'm hopeless, useless and I blend in with the background but for now I saw goodbye world because I've turned into...her

I closed my diary shoved it into my bag and grabbed my small luggage filled with things to help me survive but what was this feeling inside of me was it guilt? Or was it shame? Well it was a mixture of both

I threw my bag and my luggage outside of my window and I climbed out of it. I landed on the ground gracefully and strapped my luggage into the back of my bike and slowly got on it with my bag on me. Before I cycled away I took a look back at my house with tears threatening to leave my eyes but before that could happen I cycled away as fast as I could at night to go to the airport the memory of seeing my aunt being killed replays in my head whenever I dare think of going back.