Irondad and spiderson one-shots

School phone calls

Monday.
Lovely.
Everyone moped around midtown high like deadbeat zombies.  At least it was last period. Only 1 hour left.

Uncle Thor and Uncle Loki would be arriving at Stark Tower any minute and Peter couldn't wait to get out of school to meet them. Peter loved Thor but he preferred Loki. Loki was like another father to him. He taught him things. Not educational like his uncle Bruce. Things to help him be a better person.Peter tried to be excited. And he was. It's just Monday's.

Science droned on,Peter wasn't listening. He was too busy continuously texting his dad to see if Loki and Thor were here, only to be met with the eye roll emoji.

Mr Dell was halfway through explaining different types of cells. When Peter's phone rang out. He knew it was important because he always had his phone on silent.

"Parker. You know the rules. Speakerphone please." Mr Dell looked at him with cold eyes.
"Yes sir." Peter mumbled.

"HELLO YOUNG STARK."
"Brother he can hear you, Hi kid." Loki said in an inside voice.
"I CANT WAIT TO SHOW OLD STARK THAT YOU CAN LIFT MJOLNIR. HE WILL BE MOST PLEASED!!" Thor boomed.
"Thor. Phone. Now. There's pop tarts in the freezer."
Peter froze. The speaker. In front of the whole class.
"Wow penis. That's the best lie yet. How much did you pay those impersonators?" Peter just rolled his eyes.

"Mr Loki-"
"Mr Loki? What happened to uncle Loki Peter?"
"You're on speakerphone. In front of the whole class."
"Oh crap. Well how about you co-"
"Are you talking to peter? Loki you idiot he's still in class." Crap. Dad.

Peter heard muffled scrambling and a few hisses of annoyance between the two before Tony's voice was heard loud and clear, telling Loki to 'fuck off'
"Hey kid. Listen I know you're in school and I'm on speakerphone. But. Do you want pizza for dinner or should I get Steve to get a Chinese while h-?"
"LOKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DON'T YOU DA-"

In a cloud of green smoke, Loki appeared right in front of a scoffing flash. "If I may ask mr.Thompson, what did you call Peter?"
"I- I don't know what you mean."
"Perhaps this should remind you. I believe it was a name for a male body part.
Flash turned bright red.
"If I ever find out you've even done something remotely unkind to Peter. You won't live to see age 17. Understand?"
"Yes mr odinson sir."

Loki turned to Peter. "Peterrrrrr!" He embraced the embarrassed boy in a hug. Another cloud of green smoke and they were back at Stark Tower. 4 pizzas in-front of them.

Tony had a look of murder in his eyes. "Loki. You're dead."
"I'm a god darling. Good luck." Loki's British voice was thick and patronising.
"Stop being so facetious 'darling' " Tony mocked his accent. "I want my son to do well in school and have a remotely normal life. It doesn't take a genius now to figure out he's my 'secret son'. Especially after that idiot called him 'young stark'.
Thor held up his hands in surrender and carried on eating his pop tarts.

Loki just took a piece of pizza with a smirk. "Humans are stupid. I wouldn't count on it."
Tony just smacked him on the head.

Tony grabbed Peter's shoulders and steered him towards the living room.
"What do you want to do about this kid? You could be homeschooled, we could reveal that you're actually my son. Or I could do what I do best. Lie."

"Uhhhhh. Can I just eat pizza?"
Tony death stared him.
"I vote you just make up some dumb lie. Or threaten my class. I know how much you love doing that." Peter rolled his eyes with a smirk.
"That's a perfect idea kid. I forgot how much fun being scary is."

Natasha walked in. "Hey pete. Who are we threatening?"
"Peter's class"
"Ooo can I join in?" Natasha laughed and gave Peter a slice of pizza and a hug.
"Come in kid. Leave tin can to figure out his evil plot. We've got training to do."

A/N
I'm sorry for taking so long off 😬
Hopefully there should be chapters a lot more frequently. If you have any requests that would be incredible.
Sorry this chapter is probably really bad 😐
Love you all
-k 💕🔵