Irondad and spiderson one-shots

Security cameras

A/N
Includes a reference to the sticky notes chapter but it's not vital to read it. Talks about self harm and references to panic attacks.

Tony had recently given Peter his own space to work in the lab. Right next door to hiss of course. He decked it out with fancy tools and a mini dum-e for Peter. He had created a similar suit wall for Peter in one of the corners of the lab. Peter worked in there when there was little space for him in Tony's lab if he was working on something big or if Tony was elsewhere. Peter loved his own special place to work. Tony has placed Karen in the room for Peter as well (Friday was still operative in there).

Peter usually worked in peace. He liked being alone sometimes. Play his music. Does have to worry about bothering anyone. But Peter wasn't a normal person. Some things are just hard to say. No matter who it is you should tell. The swirl of opinions and thoughts. Spider-Man should man up. Stop being such a wuss. Deal with his problems instead of cowering. Spider-Man. Should man up.

He noticed the security camera in the room. "I bet nobody watches these. If Tony wanted to know how I was he'd just ask." He'd think. It's not like anyone would bother to watch some kid listening to AC/DC and building a spider suit. Isn't his identity classified anyway?

It started small. Just like everything does. It's better to speak out. He didn't have to worry about judgment because nobody watched them anyway. Just talking to nobody. Finding peace in nobody finding out he wasn't peaceful.

Peter would hop into his lab after school. "Today was dogshit. Got punched in the stomach and threw up. Had a panic attack over a test like a fucking moron. The usual. Someone teach me to man up!"

Peter walked over to the mirror to check on his bruises. He'd practice his smile in the mirror. Sometimes he'd wipe away a few tears.

'Fooling all of them. Telling them he's having fun. You don't want to be like me. Don't want to see the things I've seen.'

People think the superhero life is magical. The joy of saving people. Satisfaction of knowing they're safe. Knowing they can't be hurt. Throwing the bad guy where they belong. Getting what they deserve. The amazing avengers family. All happy together. People think the superhero life is magical. It's tragic. Peter wouldn't wish his life on anyone.

Put on a happy face. Smile. Tony has enough on his plate already he doesn't need your problems to burden him. Spider-Man. All weak and just. Just stupid. Man up.

Peter would smile and hop over to Tony's lab for an hour or so.
"Hi Dad!"
"Hey kid. You had a good day at school?"
"Yeah." Peter laughed but grimaced from the pain in his stomach. Tony didn't notice that. Right?
"Right. What are you working on?" Tony was good at hiding things. Years of practice.
"Nanotechnology stealth. You mentioned you were having issues getting the particles to sort themselves with them all being basically the same so I developed a new algorithm if you wanna look at it?"
"Yeah sure. Hand it over." Peter handed the notebook to Tony. Peter winced slightly at the pain in his arms.

'Standing in the shadows. The man I used to be. Wanna go back. I can't go back.'

Peter just put on a happy face. Played it off as cramp.
"I'm really sorry kid but I'm working on a new jet engine with Sam so you're welcome to stay but there won't be much room. I'm really sorry but we can spend as long as you want together tomorrow."
"That's ok. I've got homework anyway. Finals."
"Oof that's rough. You've got this. You're a smart kid. You know what's right."
"Yeah."
"This algorithm is perfect kid! You might have just figured it out."
"Yesss! I'll get on that."
"Oi. Homework first." Tony laughed at Peter's disappointed face.

Peter thought he played it off. Tony knew. He knew something was wrong. He'd leave it for the week because you never know. Might just be one of those days.

Peter walked back over to his lab and slumped in a chair. He cried. Just cried. Tony's words were echoing in his mind. Peter just couldn't live like this but he had to learn. Learn to man up.

'But can I speak? Well is it hard understanding? I'm incomplete. A life that's so demanding. I get so weak.'

As Tony said, he left it for a week before looking at the cameras. The week carried on. Peter cried. A lot. Had anxiety attacks. He had his back to the camera at one point but before he turned he was bending out a staple. Peter threw up. Cried. Covered his bruises. Wiped his own tears. Faked his smile.

The smile that everyone loved. Happy Peter. Always happy. Sees the best. Doesn't let anything phase him.

Doesn't let anything phase him.The slightest bang. Every time he heard a little girl speak. His mind went back. He couldn't save her. The shot echoed through his mind. Her body hitting the floor. Doesn't let anything ruin that smile of his.

Tony saw. He saw everything Peter did. He told Friday to keep track on him and his vitals for two more days.

"Peter is having a mild panic attack."
"Punched in the stomach."
"Punched in the nose."
"Kicked in the shin."
"Peter has thrown up."
"Anxiety attack."
"Panic attack."
"PTSD phaseback."

Nothing haunted Tony more than at 6pm on Friday evening. The last day before Tony would talk to Peter. "It appears mr Parker is cutting his wrists sir."
"He's what?!?!" Tony's breathing sped. This couldn't wait until tomorrow. This was too far. Too deep.

Tony ran out of his lab and down to Peter's lab. Tony shoved open the door and ran over to Peter before he could react. Tony piled Peter and carried him over to the couch in Tony's lab.

Tony's eyes were pained. Peter's eyes were tortured. The pain was enough to kill anyone. Peter survived.
Tony didn't speak. He didn't have emotions on his face. Blank. Just blank. He grabbed Peter's hands and took whatever Peter was holding out of them. Peter was using a staple. Something simple bent out of shape. Slicing and cutting away.

"Peter. Why? Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped. Stopped all this. You think I don't know how it feels? You think I don't know what you're going through?" Tony stuck out his wrist for Peter to see. Faint pale lines stretched and twisted around.

Peter just burst into tears.
"Flash. He's been bullying me. I didn't want you to think I was weak. I should be able to handle this."

"Kid. No. You should have told me. You aren't weak. You will never be weak. You're stronger than anyone for living like this. In secret."

"Peter. It's ok to not be ok. You can talk to me any time at all. We'll talk later about therapy and your Aunt Nat will take care of this Flash kid. Ok?"
"Ok." Peter mumbled.
Peter wrapped his arms around Tony and buried into his chest.
"I love you, kid."
"I love you too, dad."

'The ache and pain in my head because I'm awake. All night long.'

A/N
Songs used:
Carmen- Lana Del Rey
Can't go back- Fleetwood Mac
Famous last words- My Chemical Romance
Brother- Gerard Way

I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was very real. As someone who suffers from anxiety this is based off my experience and I implore you all to talk to someone. Nobody deserves to suffer in silence.

Love you all💕
-K🔵⎊